Some very cool news coming from the ever-cheery Doomsday Clock – we’re 20 seconds closer to the apocalypse!

Today in Washington, the clock – which symbolises the gravest perils facing humankind – moved closer to global catastrophe, AKA midnight, than ever before since its creation in 1947. Now expressed in seconds to enforce the urgency of the situation, the Doomsday Clock reads just 100 seconds to midnight.

“Humanity continues to face two simultaneous existential dangers,” the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists – who maintain the clock – explained in a press release, “nuclear war and climate change. The international security situation is dire, not just because these threats exist, but because world leaders have allowed the international political infrastructure for managing them to erode.” Looking at you, Donald Trump.

Rachel Bronson, the organisation’s president and CEO, added: “We now face a true emergency – an absolutely unacceptable state of world affairs that has eliminated any margin for error or further delay.”

The Doomsday Clock moved 30 seconds closer to midnight in 2018, and another half a minute in 2017, where it was previously set at three minutes. This year, its move is highlighting three worsening factors: nuclear weapons, climate change, and cyber-based disinformation. 

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists also outlined a handful of action steps that can be taken to, you know, delay the end of the world. These include, among others: seeking further reduction in nuclear arms; all countries dedicating themselves to the Paris climate agreement; discouraging and penalising the misuse of science; and eradicating politically-motivated fake news.

To summarise: as well as ultimately taking our lives, Doomsday has just stolen 20 seconds from us. Here’s a list of a few things you could have done with that precious time.

Muted Donald Trump on Twitter

Written a better song than Justin Bieber’s “Yummy”

A manic apocalypse TikTok

Texted your friend that you don’t have “appropriate space” for their bullshit

Downed a pint (legends only)

Listened to the 15-second snippet of Lady Gaga’s “Stupid Love” leak

Quit your job

Cried at the Normal People trailer

Been sexually disappointed by a skater whose mattress is on the floor

Called the emergency services via Tinder

Reminded your colleagues that you are, in fact, doing dry January and can’t come to the pub

Utilised the fish tube to pass over a dam in seconds

Watched the weird clip of One Direction dancing outside Downing Street (featuring David Cameron... for some reason)

Texted your mum!