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Lil Uzi Vert fashion off Playboi Carti

Lil Uzi Vert vs Playboi Carti: who would win a fashion off?

We put the rappers’ lewks head-to-head to work out who would emerge victoriously from Uzi’s proposed fit-off

The bromance is over. Taking to Twitter with his first Tweet in a month, this weekend Lil Uzi Vert responded to a question posed by a fan, asking if he and longtime friend and collaborator Playboi Carti were ‘still on good terms’. The answer was a resounding and resolute ‘NO’, at which point the internet – or at least Uzi’s loyal Twitter following – lost its shit. 

A sad day indeed, but seemingly all is not lost when it comes to them potentially reconciling in the future, with Uzi proposing the medium of fashion as a way to put aside their differences and clear the air. “I’m not tough I don’t beef we could have a friendly dress OFF”, he wrote in a Tweet that has since been deleted, though not before followers around the world had screenshotted the evidence.

What this so-called dress-off would actually entail we’re unsure (an America’s Next Top Model style contest? A Zoolander-inspired walk-off?) but reader, we could not be more thrilled at the prospect. With that in mind, we put together some of our fave Uzi and Carti lewks to try to ascertain who would come out as victorious. Let battle commence.

A mildly kinky ‘new phone’ thirst trap, Carti is seen here wearing a metallic and white croc textured harness by cult brand Alyx’s creative director Matthew Williams, a pair skin-tight jeans, and the kind of Matrix-like black boots that would see you stomping comfortably through a night at the Torture Garden or the moshpit at the My Chemical Romance reunion tour alike. 9/10

The SS19 fashion season saw Carti join Dev Hynes, Steve Lacey, and Kid Cudi to walk for Virgil Abloh’s debut Louis Vuitton show, in an aluminium foil-recalling rain poncho, flared printed bottoms, and an iridescent duffel bag. Fyre Festival attendee, an impending mission to the moon with NASA, or simply ready to blow himself up tae fuck? Dazzling either way. 6/10

Lil Uzi takes the aesthetics of a security guard working the graveyard shift at Asda and cranks them all the way up to 11 thanks to not one, not two, but – count them – nine heavily-branded Prada pieces. From the extensive chest-rig and the triangle-emblazoned yellow cap, right down to the polished brass belt buckle and fresh-from-the-box logo sneakers: when Uzi goes, he goes hard. Bonus points for the lewk’s piece de resistance: the teardrop diamond earrings that look like they were pulled from page 63 of the Argos catalogue (s/o my Elizabeth Duke crew). 9/10

Here, Carti rocks another head-to-toe Alyx fit, its focal point a SWAT team-like chest rig. Though unquestionably demonstrating a military-influenced vibe, the rapper also works to elevate the formidable dad-carrying-family-passports-on-holiday-in-Alicante-2009 aesthetic. A practical look for the impending climate apocalypse, obvs. 8/10

A wise woman (Victoria Beckham) once said “the airport is my runway”, and it seems Lil Uzi would be the first to agree. Stepping casually onto his private jet in a cosy jumper and a v practical backpack emblazoned with the star spangled banner (not to mention a shitload of Armani, Prada, Chanel, and Gucci) Uzi appears to be on a one man mission to Make America Great Again – giving off some heady seven-year-old-on-their-first-school-trip vibes while he’s at it. 8/10

Lil Uzi directs a vehement fuck you at the established binary codes in a full Thom Browne fit, and for that, we cannot help but stan. Whether we actually believe you can play football in a lewk like that is another matter entirely. 10/10

Last year, we all went wild for A$AP Rocky’s ‘Babushka Boi’ look, but fashion is fickle and times inevitably change. Lil Uzi developed on the idea and took it in a whole new direction last month when he showed up at a basketball game in fluffy slippers and LV-logoed pyjamas, as part of a look that owed less to Rocky’s Russian grandmothers and more to your nan throwing her anorak over her PJs to go collect the chippy tea on a Friday night. 6/10

One for lolling about the house in, if you’ve got a few thousand $ to throw at a silky Loewe shirt for loungewear. I am ––being emo–– in my Calvins. 6/10

The verdict: Carti and Lil Uzi may have racked up 29 and 33 point respectively, but technically they owe everything to Hot Topic and Gerard Way. Sorry, but we don’t make the rules...