So we came up with a few more pro-women sequels for George Miller's sci-fi action franchise
Mad Max: Fury Road is out in cinemas now, but some people aren't too happy with George Miller's return to his epic sci-fi franchise. Men's rights activists are calling for a boycott of the action film because it's just too feminist for its own good.
First, Charlize Theron had the audacity to "bark orders" at Mad Max (Tom Hardy) in the trailer. In fact, as TIME notes, she actually seems to be the main hero of the film. And worst of all, Miller recruited Vagina Monologues playwright and noted feminist Eve Ensler to consult on the film to make sure that all the female characters were believable. Well, as believable as a survivors in a drought-ridden future dystopia can be.
Over at Return of Kings, a men's website once described as "little internet compendium of fetid little trolls", one columnist called for dudes everywhere to stay away from the film. Do not be seduced by its pretty explosions and big motor cars, men! Because if Mad Max becomes a success, "the world will never be able to see a real action movie ever again that doesn’t contain some damn political lecture or moray about feminism, SJW-ing, and socialism".
If you want, you can go read the whole anti-female diatribe on this convenient DoNotLink URL. Our take? Mad Max: Fury Road just isn't feminist enough. So we've come up with a few ideas for George Miller to take into the inevitable sequel. Give us a call, George!
MAD MAX: DWORKIN ROAD
Mad Max is enrolled in a women's college. He has 18 hours to hand in an essay on Andrea Dworkin and he hasn't done any of the reading. He spends the rest of the night in the library, crying over his copy of Pornography: Men Possessing Women.
MAD MAX: INTERSECTIONAL FEMINIST FURY
Mad Max is a white woman on Twitter. He tries to get in on the #BlackLivesMatter hashtag and is promptly mocked. He lies in bed, haunted by the realisation that his understanding of class, gender, sexuality and ethnicity is too simplistic for anyone to take him seriously.
MAD MAX: FURY GAZE
Tom Hardy is made to take his shirt off and walk around very slowly while flexing his abs. Then him and Nicholas Hoult wrestle in jelly.
MAD MAX: DON'T TALK TO ME, I'M NOT YOUR BABY
Mad Max wakes up and finds himself in the body of a builder on a roadside construction site. As he opens his mouth to holla at some girl walking past, an iron girder falls on him.
MAD MAX: FURY RAP
Nicki Minaj, Lil Kim, Missy Elliot, Foxy Brown and MC Lyte team up to drop the most fire track of 2015. Iggy Azalea cries in a room, alone.
MAD MAX: TOO FAST TOO FURIOUS
Michelle Rodriguez is Mad Max. She spends the rest of the film rescuing Tom Hardy.
MAD MAX: KILL ALL MEN
Men no longer exist in the world. Charlize Theron has a great time hanging out with Abby Lee Kershaw, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Zoë Kravitz and Riley Keough.