In case you hadn’t heard, Lil Nas X released his much-anticipated debut album, Montero, earlier this week, and now he’s spoken out about the emotional process of making the record.
Proving that he’s much more than one-hit wonder — though “Old Town Road” remains, undeniably, a hit — the album’s rollout has dominated the internet since Nas gave Satan a lap dance in the video for “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)”. Particularly viral moments have included the release of his blood-filled “Satan shoes” (and the subsequent legal trouble), as well as ripping his leather trousers on SNL, and creating parodies of everything from legal billboards to Drake’s Certified Lover Boy album cover.
However, in a statement shared on Twitter this weekend (September 18), the “Industry Baby” rapper gets “serious” about what’s been going on behind the scenes. “I love joking but on a serious note making this album was therapy for me,” he writes.
“I began healing many unchecked wounds, facing skeltons (sic) in my closet i never wanted to, fighting internally every day and crying persistently,” he adds. “Montero is truly my baby. Thanks for the love.”
In a series of Montero interviews with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe, Nas has also reflected on the album and his journey toward its release. “I guess I was always and still am afraid of being any kind of vulnerable,” he says. “Because the way the world works, if you tell them your darkest secret, the second somebody doesn’t like you, they’re going to throw that shit in your face.”
“Music saved my entire life, like all artists say, and I truly get it now,” he goes on. “It gave me an outlet to just have more of a purpose, have something that I want to dedicate myself to, have something I love, have something that I’m not doing for somebody else.”
Of course, Lil Nas X’s journey is most eloquently detailed on Montero itself, with lyrics exploring love, loneliness, sexuality, and the music industry spanning its 15 tracks. The record also features contributions from Doja Cat, Elton John, Jack Harlow, Megan Thee Stallion, and Miley Cyrus.
Revisit Dazed’s rundown of five times that Lil Nas X ripped up music’s rulebook here. Revisit his Miley Cyrus-featuring Montero track “Am I Dreaming” below.