Tories have to pay people to be nice about them online

Because if you’re tired of criticism then you can just hire a team of professional social media managers to boost your profile

The current UK government are pretty tragic online. While Labour Twitter is lit and Corbyn remains Snapchat’s most memeable icon, Theresa May’s Instagram is dry at its best – and flat out scary at its worst.

During the election, Labour dominated the conversation on Twitter with 40 per cent of election-related posts giving them a mention. Meanwhile the Tories online presence stagnated because frankly: older, right-wing people just aren’t good at social media.

A Tory source told The Telegraph that there are fears that more of their voters would switch to Labour and other parties in the upcoming local elections. So now they’ve decided to pay people to defend them online. “This is about making sure we’ve got professional help on the ground to help the associations to really fight these elections,” the party source explained.

The army of paid tweeters would “take the fight to Labour on social media” and “build a strong group of dedicated volunteers in every constituency”, said Brandon Lewis, the chairman of the party whose been tasked with reviving the party’s grassroots.

Most normal people just respond to positive information and good policies rather than weird YouTube videos and insults. Even now, their embarrassingly out of touch youth account Activate is trolling Stormzy because he asked Theresa May to help the families of Grenfell who were caught in the tower block fire that killed over 70 people last Summer, and remain homeless.