Britney Spears has shared her first public statement since she directly requested the end of her years-long conservatorship in a Los Angeles court appearance on Wednesday (June 23). 

In the Instagram post, which includes a picture bearing a quote on fairytales, she addressed the disparity between her real life and what she presents on the social media platform. “I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way I’ve posted… my life seems to look and be pretty amazing,” she said. “I think that’s what we all strive for!”

However, she goes on to note that she doesn’t want people to think her life is perfect because it’s “definitely not at all… and if you’ve read anything about me in the news this week, you obviously really know now it’s not!”.

“I apologise for pretending like I’ve been ok the past two years,” the pop star added. “I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me.”

In April this year, she took to Instagram to answer a handful of fan questions, saying at the time: “I’m extremely happy. I have a beautiful home, beautiful children. I’m taking a break right now because I’m enjoying myself.” However, she has previously pushed back against her father’s role in the conservatorship, and the #FreeBritney movement has long questioned the authenticity of her posts.

Giving a rare address to the court on Wednesday, as part of her ongoing legal battle, she voiced her strongest opposition to the conservatorship arrangement to date. “This conservatorship is doing me way more harm than good,” she said. “I deserve to have a life.”

“I am not happy, I can’t sleep. I’m so angry, it’s insane. And I’m depressed. My dad and anyone involved in this conservatorship, including my management… they should be in jail.” 

She also shared some distressing specifics, including allegations that she’s forbidden from marrying her current boyfriend and having a baby under the terms of the conservatorship, and has an IUD in her body that she’s not allowed to have removed by a doctor.

Read Spears’ latest statement in full below.