Wiz Khalifa’s masculinity is so fragile that he refuses to eat bananas

This shit is bananas

Earlier this week, rapper Wiz Khalifa appeared on The Breakfast Club. Rather than opening the interview to talk about new music, or really anything else, he chose to give some bizarre advice to men (straight ones in particular) about the ‘correct’ etiquette for eating a banana.

“If you bite a banana, you sus,” he says. “If you a nigga, niggas gotta break the banana in half.” Is a halved banana any less phallic, Wiz? Seems sus, if you ask us. A small dick is still a dick. More sus, is that the rapper claims to not like peaches because he’s “texture sensitive”. Right. He does like apples cut into slices though, if you were wondering what is an acceptable fruit to eat in public.

With this attitude, we have to say that he’s missing out on a whole bunch of delicious, phallic-shaped fruit and veg. What would the rules be for a cucumber? Or an aubergine? Do they still apply to a Peter pepper (AKA the penis pepper)? Tell us what to do Wiz! 

Maybe Wiz isn’t releasing new music, instead choosing to focus on a cause close to his heart – the safe consumption of phallic fruit for heterosexual men. Watch this space.