Just over a month ago, I was scrolling through Facebook on my laptop when I spotted a romantic proposition by way of a sponsored post. In between engagement announcements and pregnancy photoshoots from high school friends, there was a man in a blazer and checkered shirt with a beard, saying that he was “33-years-old, 6’3” and looking for a relationship. I clicked on the Facebook ad out of sheer curiosity (I’m in a happy relationship and, even if I wasn’t, wouldn’t necessarily turn to my Facebook feed for romantic interests). From there, I was sent to a Google Form with information about his fitness, family, religion, politics, top podcasts, and “most surreal” childhood memories. The form itself was short, asking for ages, social media profiles, and contact details. Still, the bold 33-year-old New Yorker had bravely stepped into a space few had entered before: using paid social media advertising to find love.

When considering that you can target specific locations and age brackets through social media marketing, using Facebook or Instagram to get your face in front of thousands of women in your area is strategic. It’s cutting out the middle man of a dating app and getting straight to a Google Forms doc – because what’s more romantic than that? It also follows in the small but significant line of courageous men who have turned to extremely public displays of romantic self-promotion. There’s a 43-year-old “single guy from Adelaide” who’s been using website advertising for years in the hopes of finding someone “who's at least average-looking” and has no history of sexual intimacy. And before both him and the man with the Google Form link, there was Dan Perino. He posted black-and-white flyers “looking for a girlfriend” all around New York ten years ago.

This year, Perino has been circulating New York with a flyer: “Looking for the perfect woman”. “It poses the question of what what is the perfect woman,” he says. Due to the nature of social media, Perino says people sharing his flyer online had led to about “four million replies from around the world”. But it’s ultimately only led to one in-person date. “When people go to a bar and try and pick up someone, they only really have one or two choices in the whole night, plus the buying of drinks and all that effort,” he says. “When I put up flyers, I get thousands of calls every day and have my pick of the litter.” With 79 per cent of young people reporting dating app burnout, according to the 2024 Forbes Health Survey, it’s easy to see why people may want to try skip over the small talk. But if everyone starts using paid posts to advertise themselves personally, social media will become an even more hellish landscape, filled with Google Form links and “girlfriend applications”.

While the majority of people using sponsored posts in the pursuit of partnership seem to be straight men, some women have joined the going-viral-for-a-date bandwagon. Karolina Geits, a 30-year-old model and content creator in New York, has been filming herself posting flyers “looking for a rich man” since last year. “In a world where online dating is so prevalent, I wanted to try something different and eye-catching that would grab people's attention and spark a genuine connection,” she says. “As for eligible and wealthy men, a few have reached out, which was encouraging.” She’s even ventured to the Hamptons to “expand her search” and says she’s been on a handful of dates because of both the flyers and her TikTok videos. “I'm confident that my persistence and innovative methods will eventually lead me to the right person," she adds.

In an increasingly digital world, Geits says she’s witnessing a societal shift towards “more unconventional and personalised” methods of finding love. “Publicly advertising oneself allows for a more direct and eye-catching approach, potentially reaching a wider audience beyond the confines of traditional dating platforms,” she says. But the paradox is this: the more people attempt to stand out through sponsored dating posts, the fewer people will be inclined to make that phone call. Like influencer marketing itself, once something loses its novelty, it’s hard to get people to click “learn more”. Perhaps the answer to the growing frustration with the dating climate today isn’t more self-promotion and “wider audiences”, but to halt the search for endless options. Until then, make way for the romantic Google Forms applications and targeted social media marketing ads.