OK, who blew up America’s ‘satanic’ Stonehenge?

If you were travelling through Georgia on Highway 77 at the beginning of this week, you might have taken a pitstop and stumbled across a collection of massive granite slabs in the middle of a field, dubbed “America’s Stonehenge”. Now, though, you’ll have no such luck, because early in the morning on July 6, mysterious vandals decided to blow the monument up.

Caught on a security camera, the substantial explosion damaged the monument – officially titled the Georgia Guidestones – to such an extent that they’ve now been torn down completely, in the interest of public safety. The hunt for the suspects is still underway, although some conspiracy theorists seem to believe that we shouldn’t be looking for a suspect at all, declaring the Guidestones’ destruction an act of divine intervention.

First, though, we have to go back and look at what the Georgia Guidestones actually were, before being smashed into smithereens. Consisting of several granite slabs, the six-metre-high monument was erected near Elberton, Georgia – 100 miles east of Atlanta – in… 1980. Which is kind of disappointing when you consider that Stonehenge dates back an estimated 5,000 years. 

Mysteriously, the Guidestones were engraved with a message in five different languages, which talked about limiting the human population of Earth to less than half a billion people, in order to live “in perpetual balance with nature”. (The guy that commissioned them did it under a pseudonym, Robert C Christian – can’t think why.) Presumably sparking the comparisons to Stonehenge, they also functioned as a calendar, with a beam of sunshine shining on engraved dates through a narrow hole in the monument.

Unsurprisingly, people have freaked out about the Guidestones in the past, linking the structure to various conspiracy theories, just like the mysterious Utah monolith that they thought was sent by aliens in 2020. Some have labelled them the “Ten Commandments of the Antichrist”, while others have claimed that they have satanic properties. Others have linked them to right-wing theories about the New World Order, and “anti-globalists” have defaced them with paint at least once before, back in 2008.

One particularly vocal opponent of the Georgia Guidestones is Kandiss Taylor, a third-place finisher in the May 24 Republican primary (god, we’re doomed lol) who made the removal of the monument a core element of her campaign, alongside… executions by firing squad. Of course, Taylor has also piped up following their destruction, tweeting: “God is God all by Himself. He can do ANYTHING He wants to do. That includes striking down Satanic Guidestones.” 

God also drives a silver sedan, presumably, since that’s the vehicle that was recorded fleeing the scene after the explosion. Oh, and all the statues of literal slaveholders that remain standing around the country? He’s cool with those.

With the ”unknown individuals” that bombed the Georgia Guidestones still on the loose, we’re yet to find out who’s actually behind the act of vandalism. Are they riled-up Christians, who believe they’re fighting back against the satanists? Red-pilled anarchists, under the illusion that they’ve demolished the Ten Commandments of a shadowy world government? Maybe they’re simply fervent followers of Taylor, carrying out what she calls Executive Order #10: “Turn the Georgia Guidestones into dust.”

Either way, the 42-year-old monument – which had long been listed as a tourist attraction by Elbert County – is projected to cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to replace. We’ll have to wait and see if Robert C Christian is around to fork out the cash, which shouldn’t be too much of a problem if he’s still a member of the New World Order.