BLUE IVY MAKES HER MET GALA DEBUT

With her mum hosting the celebrations, it’d be rude for her not to. We also predict a secret act four to Beyoncé’s album trilogy, but it’s actually Blue’s debut album titled “IV” (four in roman numerals – get it?). Before that, however, we’ll get act III, a Beyoncé rock album with features including Rosalía and System of a Down. (IVD) 

WERNER HERZOG ENTERS HIS INFLUENCER ERA 

Earlier this year, the acclaimed director joined Instagram at the ripe old age of 82, using the platform to share behind-the-scenes footage from his new film Ghost Elephants, demonstrate prehistoric weaponry, and show off his favourite stuffed toys (sorry, his “Bavarian musicians”). Already racking up more than 700,000 followers, a slew of brand deals are surely on the table for the new year: maybe some comfy MeUndies or Manscaped “groin trimmers”? Use code WERNER for 20% off BetterHelp. Ecstatic truth is brought to you by Shopify. (TW)

BLUE HAIR IS IN AGAIN

Woke is back, baby! (SS)

CHARLI WRITES A SUBSTACK ABOUT QUITTING MUSIC

Earlier this year, Charli soft-launched a pivot to acting after appearing in Pete Ohs’ indie drama Erupjca, and in 2026 she’s set to appear in a great glut of films, including: her much-anticipated mockumentary The Moment, 100 Nights of Hero, The Gallerist, I Want Your Sex, Sacrifice, and Mother Mary.

Her Wuthering Heights soundtrack will be widely acclaimed, but at some point in the second half of the year she’ll pen a Substack with a silly, provocative title like “Is music over?” or “Music is uncool now”, in which she’ll allude to the fact that she’s planning on focusing on making films for the foreseeable future. (SS)

RACCOON AT THE SUPERBOWL

What the hell, sure. (SS)

TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET GETS AN OSCAR FOR MARTY SUPREME

It’s in the bag, surely? The man spent seven years honing his ping-pong skills, for God’s sake. (SS)

NIGEL FARAGE RECORDED SAYING A SLUR

A Guardian scoop that dominates headlines for a week but ultimately blows over because his supporters don’t care ❤️ (SS)

PRINCE ANDREW [REDACTED]

🕯️

TIMMY AND KYLIE BABY

I actually think a lot of celebs are going to make pregnancy announcements next year, but in his latest Vogue cover, Timothée explicitly said that he believes that procreation is the reason we're all here and that children “could be on the radar”. Our thoughts and prayers will be with Club Chalamet, if and when this occurs 🙏 (HJ)

VEGANISM COMEBACK

Last month, our US Editor, Laura Pitcher, asked ‘Where have all the vegans gone?’. Well, let me tell you, Laura... they are on their way back! While veganism has been on the outs in the West, just like blue hair, we will see it rise again as wokeness returns, inshallah. (HJ)

RACHEL SENNOTT WILL TRY TO RELEASE MUSIC AND GO ON TOUR

‘Cus why the hell not! (HJ)

ESDEEKID REVEALED AS PAKISTANI

When I look into his eyes, I see a real Sufism in him. I feel as though the soul of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan has been restructured. Everyone keeps telling me he’s a Scouser, but why can’t two things be true at the same time… (HJ, with thanks to Zara Afthab) 

SYDNEY SWEENEY REDEMPTION ARC

We’re a very fickle culture. One second we (rightly) hate someone, the next we love them. With her return as Cassie in Euphoria, maybe the tides will turn for Sydney Sweeney. One of my friends believes she will start acting in arthouse films, find her niche, and people will start respecting her again like Mia Goth. Who knows! (HJ)