Stranger things have happened in the White House
Since Donald Trump got shot in the ear earlier this month, average people across the globe have been bombarded with an onslaught of US political news. There was that attempted assassination and its ensuing fashion craze, the ascension of alt-right groyper JD Vance to Trump’s vice presidential nominee, and Hulk Hogan ripping off his shirt at the Republican National Convention. Straight after that, Joe Biden promptly decided to withdraw from the race, sending the internet into overdrive in the process. Since then it’s been an endless stream of brat memes, Kamala Harris coconutcore, and a CNN roundtable discussing Charli xcx. You’d be forgiven, then, for missing the very small detail that Rick Owens might be running for America’s top job, too.
A couple days ago, the Instagram account @staygroundeadtv posted a three second clip of someone’s house with a political lawn sign out the front. Though a lot of details remain a mystery – whose house it is? Where is it located? Who put the sign there? – one thing is very clear, and that’s the phrase RICK OWENS 2024 plastered across it. Could Rick Owens be making a covert bid for the White House and starting his campaign at this random house in what looks like suburban, middle America? Well, stranger things have happened in US politics, as the last couple of weeks have shown.
If Rick really were to run, then what would an Owens ticket look like in 2024? Well, obviously Michèle Lamy would be his running mate, which would no doubt piss off right-wing conspiracy theorists given they all think she’s some sort of Masonic witch anyway. Elsewhere, Hannah Rose Dalton from Fecal Matter would have first dibs on Secretary of State, Tyrone Dylan would of course be First Lady, while Rick’s hairless sphynx Pixie would probably be Secretary of Defense.
But given that the designer’s SS25 show was all about assembling an “army of love”, it’s difficult to picture Rick, Michèle and their beloved cats sitting in the White House Situation Room air-striking innocent civilians. Or maybe that “army of love” is exactly what US politics needs right now, and the designer would finally unite the country. They’ve had a reality TV con artist in office, so why not try a fashion designer? Though it was probably some rogue Rick stan that popped that sign up on their lawn, it’s comforting to think there could be another choice for president than Donald Trump or a cop.