Just try out a bandana, what’s the worst that could happen?

There is a photograph I keep buried in a box at the back of my wardrobe which depicts me on holiday, age eight, wearing what can only be described as a lewk. 

Squinting into the sun aboard an ocean-bound pedalo, my just-seen Benetton t-shirt and matching pineapple-print cycling shorts are finished with an unfathomably thick pair of prescription glasses with lenses that had been treated to mortifyingly darken in bright conditions, as well as the pièce de résistance: an eye-watering neon blue and hazard red bandana. Like I said: a lewk – though not necessarily in the positive sense I’m sure you’ll have gathered by this point.

In the years that have elapsed since I hit peak Disney Channel auditionee gone extremely berserk and wrong, it’s probably not that surprising that I’ve given tying a square cloth of brightly-coloured fabric around my head a miss – no matter how tempting emulating Carrie Bradshaw circa the dumped-by-Berger-via-Post-It-note series was. 

Recently, though, things have changed. With bandanas all over the runway across the course of the last few seasons (I’m looking at you, Jonathan Anderson, Simon Porte Jacquemus, and Alessandro Michele), the look has slowly but surely begun creeping onto the TL, with Dazed faves like Dua Lipa road-testing it on IG – needless to say, suddenly it’s looking pretty alluring. Elsewhere, the garment forms a cornerstone of the growing TikTok #cottagecore community’s aesthetic, and right now, who doesn’t want to run away to the countryside and see this pandemic out in heavy pastoral style? 

Whether or not I can pull off a bandana the second time around remains to be seen (or thankfully not, given our current isolated circumstances), but that’s not to say I’m not going to give it a go. Here are five reasons you should do the same.

SERIOUSLY, THERE IS NOTHING LEFT FROM THE 90s or 00s TO PILLAGE 

Over the course of the last few halcyon years, we’ve done puka shell necklaces, Juicy Couture velour tracksuits, Ugg boots, Dior Saddles, and chainmail: basically, the well of Y2K fashions we’ve been furiously dipping into is beginning to runneth dry. See the trend out by adopting a style beloved by the likes of Beyoncé, J.Lo, and crowned 00s queens Paris and Nicole back then. Seriously: that’s hot. 

IT’S THE PERFECT WAY TO ZHUZH UP YOUR ZOOM CALLS 

One thing that has become glaringly apparent since the world locked down is that there’s always one usually perky, preened colleague who will sneakily screenshot the morning Zoom meeting and post it to their social media under the caption ‘squad goals’ or equivalent. A cute sentiment sure, but not necessarily a flattering one given all good intentions re; getting dressed went out the window circa week two and you now spend 90 per cent of your days hunched over the kitchen table like a particularly grotesque gremlin (hey!). Step in the bandana. This low effort addition to your oeuvre, along with a clean top if you’re feeling fancy, will ensure you’re able to repost aforementioned colleague’s screenshot to your own social channels of choice and watch the likes roll in. And what's more important than the validation of strangers on the internet? Nothing.

YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH NOT WASHING YOUR HAIR FOR AN EXTRA COUPLE OF DAYS 

Between baking sourdough loaves, trawling through the trashy depths of Netflix, and lying on our bed staring at the ceiling with a mix of incomprehensible horror and boredom simultaneously etched across our faces, there aren’t enough hours in day to entertain the grooming routine we once upheld. No matter. Wrap a silk scarf around your greasy mop and no one will be any the wiser as to what lurks beneath. It starts self-cleaning before long anyway (just ask our head of fashion).

YOU’VE PROBABLY ALREADY GOT ONE IN YOUR WARDROBE 

With online shopping becoming a deeply moral issue in the face of the coronavirus, many of us are swerving the sound of a plastic-wrapped package landing on the doormat in favour of making do with what we’ve got. Though this can make nailing some trends tricky, when it comes to the humble bandana it’s likely you’ve already got one somewhere in your home – because surprise! If you don't have a silk scarf a simple square of fabric will suffice.

I MEAN, WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT GOING ON? 

I rest my case.