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These are the fashion names with Big Dick Energy

*insert aubergine emoji*

Big Dick Energy. You’ve heard this week’s catchiest phrase by now, a Twitter-spawned shorthand for someone who exudes the quiet but undeniable confidence that comes from having a big dick. It’s not about ego, or money, or power. It’s not even about having a dick. BDE is purely spiritual. But there’s one question that, until now, has remained unanswered. Who in fashion has the biggest Big Dick Energy? Well, gentle readers, you’re in luck.


Phoebe Philo doesn’t do interviews – she doesn’t need to prove herself to anyone, so big is her Big Dick Energy. If you think about it, the Céline Woman she invented – with her casual combo of dirty trainers with a £6000 silk gown – is pure BDE.


IDEA doesn’t say a lot, but it makes it count. IDEA knows its shit, but doesn’t let its ego get in the way. Sure, Rizzoli has its fancy store, and Thames and Hudson has its weighty hardbacks, but in the world of fashion publishing, it’s IDEA that has the Big Dick Energy.


Don’t get dreadlocks, model Adesuwa’s agents told her. So, obviously, considering her massive BDE, she got dreadlocks. And then booked shows for Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Dior, and Miu Miu. She slays. We stan.


Not only does Collier Schorr have Big Dick Energy (seriously, check this out), but her images are basically a lesson in how women can exude it too. Roll up the sleeves of your white Marlon Brando-esque t-shirt, chuck a blazer over your bare chest, sit with your legs spread and revel in your own subversion of masculine stereotypes.


Donatella’s Big Dick Energy needs no introduction. She’s the OG Versace muse, inspiring her brother Gianni since the label was founded. If you need further evidence of it, look at the video of her walking out with the Supers at the finale of her SS18 show – she’s approximately four feet shorter than them and owns the runway.


Tom Ford’s Big Dick Energy is so big, he invented sex. Okay, so he didn’t, but you’d be forgiven for believing that looking at his design legacy. Unfazed by his age – he’s got the face of a 30-year-old, but is actually 56 – Ford occasionally appears in his own ads with shirt unbuttoned and the gleam of BDE in his eyes.   


Simon Porte Jacquemus radiates happiness, positivity, and Big Dick Energy – and with good reason. The French designer was plucked from the Comme des Garçons shop floor (where he was a store assistant) by none other than Adrian Joffe, launched his eponymous label, and has since been nominated for the LVMH Prize not once, but twice. Instead of showing in Paris, he has the fashion set traipse down to the South of France to see his collections and is always confident that they’ll show up. Like we said: BDE.


Both Rick Owens and Michele Lamy exude Big Dick Energy by themselves, but when combined they become a Big Dicked force to be reckoned with. Whether they’re erecting furniture constructed from effigies of themselves, showing up to their own parties six hours late, or throwing pseudo-orgies for music videos, Owens and Lamy are unfailingly committed to being unapologetically themselves, whatever anyone else thinks.


Only a man with BDE could start a brand and end up as head of Louis Vuitton menswear in five years. Just saying.