HELLO MILANO. After the London Fashion Week finale no one saw coming (yes, we're talking about her Royal Highness showing up to Richard Quinn’s show and taking a seat on the front row) we’ve hauled our (very over-the-luggage-limit) suitcases to Milan for AW18: week three. First up, Gucci. Here’s what went down.

THE INVITATION WAS A TIMER 

An orange plastic box complete with a digital clock face which counted down the seconds to the show. Anxiety-inducing? Kind of. Intriguing? Definitely. It came with strict instructions not to be late – the show would start when the timers sounded. Did that happen? Not quite, but it made for an exciting bit of pre-show drama.

THE SET WAS AN OPERATING THEATRE

Built inside the designated show space in Gucci’s shiny new HQ on the edges of town. We’re talking hospital-green panelled walls, lines of waiting-area plastic chairs, and operating table gurneys with bright clinical lights shining down onto them. The first sound we all heard was the beeping of a heart monitor machine, followed by ominous footsteps and a phone ringing.

MODELS CARRIED THEIR OWN HEADS(!)

Yes, you read that right. A number of models stepped out with a surprising accessory – a terrifying severed head which looked exactly like they’d had a nasty knife fight with their doppelgängers. The collection’s show notes explained them as ‘the Gucci Cyborgs’: culturally-aware, biologically-indefinite post-human creatures with eyes on their hands, faun horns, dragon-puppies and double heads. 

ALESSANDRO MADE A FURTHER CASE FOR THE BALACLAVA

Following in the footsteps of Raf Simons at Calvin Klein, Alessandro sent a number of his models down the runway (or rather, through the Gucci operating room) in various balaclavas; some knitted, some superhero-esque, some concealing only the mouth, and some with tiny eyeholes barely big enough to see out of. Are we all going to be walking around with our faces concealed next season? If Simons and Michele have anything to do with it, the answer might just be yes.

THE ‘UGLY’ SNEAKER GOT A GUCCI GLO-UP

The furore surrounding the so-called ‘ugly’ sneaker shows no sign of abating, and AW18 saw Gucci’s take on the style getting something of a regal makeover, as Michele added crystals, gemstone, ribbons and embroidered detailing to their chunky-soled silhouettes. Sure, they’re ‘dad’ sneakers, but only if your dad is really, really fabulous.