23-year-old Tschan Andrews wants to let you know the truth about surviving as a black trans model. Her visibility in an industry known for its lack of diversity and narrow representation is refreshing and vital, but it’s her trans-activism – fought under the radar – that marks her out as a true revolutionary. Uncensored confessions of a troubled home and school life, the pains of securing housing and the bitter realities of existing as a black trans-woman are voiced without hesitation at every opportunity she gets, all to dissolve the glossy illusion that modelling automatically affords anyone a glamorous, privileged life.

Sure, industry heavyweights like Nick Knight and Juergen Teller have used the striking beauty (note that Andrews has never been represented by a modelling agency, in fact, she was approached by photographers for all her gigs!) but the discrimination she’s faced hasn’t dissolved.

Below, Andrews’ talks to Dazed about balancing modelling work with everyday survival, coping with her family destroying all of her belongings and why moving to NYC will allow her to reach new heights.

What are your thoughts on fashion’s current engagement with trans identities and trans models?

Tschan Andrews: I do find it irritating when it’s treated lightly because it’s not a trend. It was always here, it will always be here and these people exist – they don’t just exist for certain bursts of time! On one side it’s great because there’s a lot of exposure and trans models are speaking out but I also find it frustrating that media outlets are exposing people’s stories while not really trying to change lives.

For example, I was asked to do something with a publication recently and they wanted to exploit my story for an editorial but not pay me for it. I find it reductive when you know my situation, you want me to talk about my experiences but you don’t want to pay me. I think people assume, just because I’m young and with the way society is today, that being famous and having exposure leads to happiness. It doesn’t at all, I don’t just want to be famous. I don’t care about being famous. I want to make money, I want to be able to have some stability in my life.

People might assume that because you’re in fashion, you must have a comfortable, hassle-free, privileged life. What are some of the difficulties you encounter navigating the world as trans women on a day-to-day basis?

Tschan Andrews: I think people naturally assume stability and glamour of anyone who has some sort of platform or success, but that’s an illusion that’s been fabricated. Some people have that life but I don’t. First of all, I’m trans, I’m black and I don’t have parents or any form of support at all. I was homeless this year for almost 5 months; I was at the mercy of my friends and a benefit system that’s flawed. I couldn’t find housing for a long while and I think that was largely because I am trans.

So, I’m not going to make up an illusion, I’m not going to try to sell something and make it seem that my life is fabulous, because I’m a human being. I’m not going to pretend like I’ve had the best time because I haven’t and I believe that talking about that openly is important because we’re not all Caitlyn Jenner on the cover of Vanity Fair. Not every trans person is having the best time and not every trans person can be a hero. Most of us don’t have anything or anyone and every single thing that we’ve tried to achieve, even the littlest things, like getting our names changed or finding employment is an absolute battle – every single day is a battle to do the most basic things.

How have you found balancing those real struggles with your modelling work?

Tschan Andrews: There have been a lot of depressing moments that I’ve been through recently. I went back home not too long ago and my mum had completely fumigated the property and got rid of every single thing of my existence, including my university certificates, all my portfolio work and awards I have won. I can be easily be swamped by that, but then I’m flying to LA to meet David LaChapelle later this week! That’s the most amazing thing about my career trajectory – it just takes me out of certain situations that would otherwise get me down. It allows me to see what is above and beyond the struggles.

Your friend Blake Wood started a GoFundMe page to help with your loss of belongings. How has the recovery process been?

Tschan Andrews: I didn’t expect the support I’ve received so far at all and I didn’t think people even cared. I was just so pissed off I wrote a Facebook statement and all of a sudden I got all this positive feedback and it spiralled from there. I’ve been dealing with this for years and I’ve never spoken about it at all. Even if I did speak about it people didn’t understand – people didn’t even understand trans up until a year ago. Now, it’s something people are talking about. But really, I’ve been dealing with this abuse my entire life and that scenario is literally one tiny PG-13 snippet from my whole entire existence of being trans.

I used to internalise it all, I used to absolutely hate myself and have no self-esteem. It really did affect me to the point where I didn’t have friends because I didn’t believe I deserved to have friendships. I was raised to believe so little of myself and my self worth. Now, I’ve got to a point where I literally don’t care about what they think.

What are your thoughts on London as a space to exist as a trans person? You’re planning to use some of the GoFundMe money to potentially move to NYC, why?

Tschan Andrews: I really want to try to establish myself there because there’s essentially no place to thrive in London at all, especially as a trans person. You feel like you’re the only one! In NYC I think there’s a history, a consciousness, energy and a lot more people I can assimilate with and feel a part of to take myself to the next level. I think I can be taken seriously there. Whereas in London I’ve actually been told, even up until recently that “we just don’t do trans here, sorry”. I mean I would never say that to someone, especially if they have an extensive and impressive portfolio, I wouldn’t go “sorry, we don’t do black people here” or “We don’t do Chinese people here”.

You’ve been very vocal about the animosity thrown at black trans people particularly. Do you think this issue is being taken seriously enough?

Tschan Andrews: I hope it will be taken more seriously. I don’t hear very many people talking about it because I guess people find it just too much to get their head around. I find that when I explain the black trans experience to a black person they know what I mean but others find it hard to get, especially if they’re white. As a white person you have no experience of racism, or rather, you have benefited from institutionalised racism and so don’t even realise it exists because you’ve never been able to experience it from the other side. But it does exist and it does occur.

What’s next for you now?

Tschan Andrews: I want to establish myself and make myself financially stable and comfortable. Also, I really want to go into schools and talk about experiences and educate people on the trans experience. Up until recently, I thought I was the only person like this ever and I didn’t realise there were so many different people like me or even to such a big scale. I’ve always felt like an absolute alien and a freak. Even in the gay community, they have totally different pathologies and outlooks on life. To share my experience and help others is my absolute life goal.

Tschan will soon be filming a programme based on identity presented by Grayson Perry for Channel and also wants to thank Kim Jones, her friend who donated a large amount of money to help her.