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When Harry Met Sally - Meg Ryan

There’s an app for teaching people how to give women orgasms

OMGyes costs £27 and wants to help human beings learn how to pleasure women properly

Unless there’s an anthropologist out there able to point me towards the existence of cavemen with mad cunnilingus skills, it’s safe to say the female orgasm has been somewhat neglected over time. 

To be fair, it’s not always easy to make women come — something Tumblr blogs such as the female-authored ‘How To Make Me Come’ have foregrounded. There’s an astonishing 677 million Google hits for the question “how do I make a woman come”, offering a range of advice from the practical “use your hands” to the bizarre “have warm feet”. 

Predictably, it was never going to be long before some Silicon Valley types realised that there’s an army of clueless but well-intentioned guys (and maybe women) out there who can’t keep their girlfriends happy. New orgasm app OMGyes (see what they did there?) promises to teach men the skills they need to make women orgasm — every time. 

It works by showing videos of women masturbating to demonstrate different techniques. After you’ve watched the women get themselves off, you’re encouraged to practice making the movements on your smartphone touch screen. If you’ve ever thought your ‘pause edging’ technique needed a little improvement, for example, you can check out a preview video here (do not open this link in an open-plan office).

The makers say that they want to “lift the veil and take an honest look at the specific ways women actually find pleasure”, singling out the ‘Hollywood Myth’ as particularly damaging. “Depictions in media would have us believe that after a bit of missionary position or sex up against a wall, she’ll have a mind-blowing orgasm, every time, in under a minute. That’s the script even in tame romantic comedies.” 

While the makers of this are obviously doing this for profit — multiply 677 million by the £27 OMGyes costs, and you quickly see that there’s a whole lot of money to be made — on the whole we think anything which opens the dialogue around female sexuality is a good thing. And for any female Dazed readers who are getting sick of faking orgasms, you’ll be pleased to know there’s a gift option to send a not-so-subtle hint.