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Amazon Dating
Via Thinko

The Amazon Dating parody app is perfectly dystopian and disturbing

Prime services are included

You might think the landscape of dating apps is severely overpopulated with Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and even Toffee – for posh Tories – to choose from. But a group of young creatives from Los Angeles are here to tell you that you are, in fact, wrong and that the current crop of digital dating services are in dire need of a worthy competitor: enter Amazon Dating.

Ani Acopian, Suzy Shinn, Morgan Gruer, and LA-based animation studio Thinko have constructed a convincing parody dating site based on the Amazon website, complete with Prime options, OFC.

The site offers profiles of individuals, much like any other dating app experience, except here you can personalise your date, with options to choose their height – all the way up to eight foot – and preferred ‘love language’. 

Like the look of Ted, 22, but think his factory default height of 5ft 5” is too small, and reckon he looks a little shy? No problem, stretch him out to 6ft 5” and bestow upon him the ability to provide “words of affirmation”, and you can have a tall king lovingly encouraging you within the hour, all for the modest price of $22.96.

Or if there’s no one taking your fancy, you can click on the drop down menu bar where you’ll find the “Deal of the Day”, the “Prime Video” catalogue (a link to Chatroulette), and a tab titled “Your Last Relationship”, which takes you directly to the official video of “Toxic” by Britney Spears.

Ani Acopian – who shared the parody project on Twitter – and Suzy Shinn told The Daily Dot in an email: “There’s no end goal. Anyone can do anything they want, hopefully meet someone cool.” The pair added: “I think we’re (in) a culture of wanting something now, not later, and wanting the best.”

Visit the Amazon dating website to order your perfect match, or apply to have your own profile featured on the app here.