From the much-needed bison (what took so long?!) to a rock and – finally – the trans flag, we rate our favourite emojis based on how useful they’ll be
Another day, another emoji update, with a slew of both incredibly niche and much-needed options added, including – finally! – the trans flag. After years of campaigning, and queering the lobster emoji to raise awareness, Unicode has woken up and included the pink, white, and blue pride flag in its latest update announcement.
Joining the trans flag and symbol are a number of other weird additions, including a rock, a bison, and a very tense-looking beetle, as well as some nice, new, inclusive emojis, including women, men, and people in both wedding dresses and tuxedos.
In honour of the updated selection, which will arrive on smartphones at some point this year, we rank 10 of the new emojis based on the weirdness, or wonderfulness of their use.
WINDOW
I wouldn’t be so offended by this window if it wasn’t so unbelievably shit. Not only does it look like it was plucked out of the 1930s, but it doesn’t even function as a window! Why can’t you see the rest of the sun coming through it! My only theory is that it’s made out of an opaque material, therefore defeating the object of it being… a window? Also I can’t actually see any situation in which someone would send their pal a window, so this is absolutely the worst addition on the list.
Rank: Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.
FLATBREAD
This isn’t as bad a premise as the window, but it’s executed almost just as poorly. Let’s call a spade a spade: this flatbread is a Quorn burger.
Rank: A+ for the Quorn burger, D- for the flatbread.
ANATOMICAL HEART
With Valentine’s Day coming up, what better to send your loved one than an anatomically correct cartoon of an IRL heart? I love you, darling, here’s a picture of your insides.
Rank: An insult to love.
ROCK (ALSO SEE: LOG)
There is absolutely no situation in which you’d need to send someone a rock… is there? Like, is there? What conversation could possibly be enhanced by the addition of not just a rock, but a really normie rock? I just can’t wrap my head around the idea of someone in an office somewhere going: ‘You know what we really need? A rock’.
Rank: Rock, and roll the hell outta my phone.
PEOPLE HUGGING
This emoji makes me really, really sad. The blobs look like two of the old MSN logos mourning the loss of their friend, Microsoft’s know-it-all paperclip.
Rank: Depressing – will definitely use.
MOUSE TRAP
Has this emoji been created specifically for the Dazed office?
Rank: Seriously, someone call pest control.
COCKROACH
This one has been added specifically for modern dating IMO. Telling your friends about the guy you’ve been dating for two months who just ghosted you? Cockroach emoji. Slept with a boy who didn’t have a bed frame? Cockroach emoji. Your pal slept with your girlfriend? Cockroach emoji.
Rank: Was this created in collaboration with Tinder?
BISON
Despite coming third on the list, this is obviously my favourite addition. Why do we need a bison! Where’s the demand for a bison! In my 25 years of life, I don’t think I’ve ever said the word ‘bison’ in a sentence, so who – who – is sending a bison emoji to their contacts? Please actually email me and answer this.
Rank: Why is the bison screaming? :(
SMILING FACE WITH TEAR
Absolute mood. This is me. This is the perfect emoji. This is definitely the result of that emoji mash-up Twitter account. I love it. Thank you.
Rank: About to become the most used emoji.
TRANS FLAG
After a long fight by trans activists, Unicode has finally introduced the transgender flag – the most requested flag emoji – after rejecting requests for it over the past four years. Referencing the introduction of a lobster emoji before the trans flag, activist and author Charlie Craggs told Dazed in 2018: “We now have access to a lobster emoji, because people suffered ‘frustration and confusion’ at having to use a shrimp or a crab emoji instead. Surely representation for the trans community is more important than a crustacean?” Despite being incredibly overdue, the introduction of the flag is a happy ending for a hard-fought campaign.
Rank: Better late than never
