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Eels in polluted British rivers are getting fucked up on cocaine

It feels good for you but it’s not good for them

Your coke habit is getting too many of Britain’s eels high. Traces of the drugs are routinely making their way into Britain’s waters after being flushed into rivers via your piss.

However, even though you might love the sesh, it’s actually making critically endangered eels more “hyperactive” and researchers worry this will threaten their survival. They found that the drug accumulated on the brain, muscles, gills, skin and other tissues of eels exposed to the drug, and showed that the serious injury caused was slow to repair.

“This study shows that even low environmental concentrations of cocaine cause severe damage to the morphology and physiology of the skeletal muscle of the silver eel, confirming the harmful impact of cocaine in the environment that potentially affects the survival of this species,” said the authors of the study, published in Science of the Total Environment.

In 2015, scientists at the European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction revealed that London beat the rest of Europe as the city with the highest concentration of coke in sewage, with an average daily concentration of 737mg per 1,000 people. In the same year it was also discovered that Italy’s eels had a coke problem too.

For years we have been seeing that remnants of cocaine, amphetamines and ecstasy are becoming a staple feature of European lakes and rivers, including the Thames. Even our drinking water has tested positive for cocaine. Yet, usage of the drug continues to climb and its strength continues to skyrocket. Won’t somebody please think of the eels?