Scrolling through TikTok, you might have seen videos of guys lamenting the fact that the girl they’re texting has gone “from responding ‘heyyyyy’ to ‘hey’” after her “post-ovulation clarity hits”. Elsewhere on the app, you might have seen self-styled dating coaches admonishing people who make any romantic moves while ovulating. There are also plenty of face-to-camera confessions, featuring women face-palming and bemoaning the mistakes they made whilst in ‘hormonal horny jail’. 

If you’re unfamiliar, post-ovulation clarity describes the psychological recalibration and state of relative level-headedness following ovulation, a 16 to 32-hour window in the middle of the menstrual cycle in which many people experience heightened arousal due to an increase in estrogen. It’s similar to post-nut clarity (referring to a sense of calm after orgasm), but many also use it as a way of explaining the twists and turns in their sex lives throughout their menstrual cycle. 

Not everyone will experience a spike in horniness during ovulation; people who take hormonal contraception, for example, won’t undergo ovulation to begin with. But for those who do, the experience can be disorientating. From reporting extreme sexual frustration to spending a whole day locked inside masturbating, the people who spoke to me for this piece reported some colourful experiences from the trenches of arousal. 

For Maria, 28*, a cis woman who primarily dates and sleeps with women and non-binary people, ovulation brings one big difference to her sexual diet: boys. While she identifies with the label bisexual, it’s when she is ovulating that she most craves sex with men – an urge she describes as overpowering. “I’m a fucking animal, is basically all I can say. My vagina takes over,” she explains, referring to her sexual urges during ovulation. “It feels like something takes over me that I’m not in control of.”

Maria’s experience chimes with the growing online interest in the role of hormones on sexual orientation. There are countless confession videos on TikTok where previously straight-identifying cis women share that coming off the pill (and the consequent change in hormones) supposedly “made them a lesbian”. The much-debated (and at times discredited) ‘ovulatory shift’ hypothesis postulates that changes in hormones throughout the ovulatory cycle lead women to seek out short-term male partners who display more masculine traits, which may indicate higher genetic quality, during the most fertile points of their cycle. However, the theory suggests that when they are less fertile, women seek long-term male partners who display more nurturing, fatherly traits. 

I’m a fucking animal, is basically all I can say. My vagina takes over

So far, so bio-essentialist. But what do the experts say? According to Mr Greg Pearson, Consultant Gynaecologist at Sarum Road Hospital within the Circle Health Group, shifts in sexual preferences around ovulation are “certainly feasible”. However, he cautions against coming down hard on any one-size-fits-all conclusions, noting that the impact of hormones “varies depending on a person’s own biological makeup”. In short, just as there is no certainty that stopping hormonal contraception will convert straight girls into hey mamas lesbians, there is no certainty that ovulation will make bi people more attracted to cis guys. 

But even if ovulation doesn’t shift your Kinsey Scale score by a few points, the increased levels of estrogen-fuelled horniness can impact your day-to-day life in surprising ways. For Alex*, it manifests as a heightened interest in BDSM-lite sex. “I get insanely horny, like I want to eat a fridge or rip into human flesh,” says the non-binary 28-year-old. “It’s an aggressive feeling, where I want to be dommed or dicked down.” 

Normally, this sense of arousal is mostly talk rather than action – “it usually just involves me talking to people on Feeld about eating me out” – but Alex notes that it can lead to some sexual choices that might be out of character for them. “Being so horny during ovulation makes you forget about consequences, so I might give a man I don’t really fancy a blowjob in the street when usually I wouldn’t think he’s worthy of my interaction. After that sort of thing, I can experience a lot of shame.” 

They’re not alone. Themes of shame or regret are often mentioned in accounts of post-ovulation clarity. Whether it’s backsliding with an ex or sexting your reply guy, we’ve all made ill-advised choices in our hour (well, 36 hours) of sexual need. Post-ovulation, in the cold light of day, we can see that these decisions might not align with the kind of goals we profess to have the rest of the time – or that getting off isn’t worth waking up in your overbearing ex-girlfriend’s bed (nor is it worth the additional billable hours from your therapist). 

However, for Leanne Yau, a certified sex and relationships educator and polyamory advocate, it’s worth unpacking why women and people who ovulate might be so hard on themselves after being unusually horny. “Women and people who ovulate are often stereotyped as the more passive parties when it comes to sex – they need to be the ones inviting rather than initiating sex,” Yau explains. “People who feel more sexual than usual during ovulation might end up experiencing shame for not aligning with traditional gender roles and expectations around sex.” 

So, rather than chastising yourself for simply being horny, masturbating or having more sex, Yau recommends looking inwards and thinking about why you’re feeling shame – are you beating yourself up for not “behaving” according to societal standards you didn’t set? 

However, if you’re finding that your sexual decisions during ovulation are having a tangible negative impact – for example, having unprotected sex and later becoming anxious about the sexual health risk – then it’s worth setting some intentions at other points of your cycle. “Accept what’s happened rather than beating yourself up about it. But when you’re not ovulating, it’s worth reaffirming to yourself what your values are, why you have those values and whether it serves you to have those values,” Yau says. “If you do something repeatedly, think about whether it’s something to look into. Is it self-destructive behaviour? Is it a loneliness thing? Is there a need that is going unmet?”

While it’s tantamount that you look after your emotional health, any post-ovulation come-down will require you to look after your physical health too. As gynaecologist Pearson explains, changes in libido during ovulation are normally “entirely healthy and reasonable” – but if you’ve engaged in behaviour that could lead to an STI or unwanted pregnancy, he advises you to speak to a GP or sexual health clinic for advice. 

But the bottom line is this: as long as you’re not hurting anyone – yourself included –  ovulation horniness and the clarity that comes afterwards shouldn’t be something to fret about. Instead, use that extra brain space to focus on finding somebody (or a vibrator) that matches your freak. 

*Name has been changed