If Keir Starmer has a million haters, I am one of them. If Starmer has ten haters, I am one of them. If Starmer has only one hater, that is me. If Starmer has no haters, that means I am no more on this earth. If the world is for Starmer, I am against the world. But because I am a mature and sophisticated political analyst, I’m able to recognise that there are a handful of good things in Labour’s manifesto, which was shared today (June 13). Here’s everything you need to know.

THE GOOD

1. Banning no-fault evictions.
2. Introducing new worker protections.
3. Annoying people who send their kids to private school.
4. Being marginally less evil than the Tories.

The strongest case for regarding Labour as “the lesser of two evils” is not about the party’s positive programme, but what it won’t do. Several Tories, including Sunak himself, have indicated an intention to pull the UK out of the European Court of Human Rights (EHRC), a measure which would open the floodgates for all sorts of oppressive and discriminatory policies. To give one example: the Tories have been gunning for trans people for years now, but so far this has mostly taken the form of “guidance” (much of which is non-binding and ignorable) rather than new legislation – this is partly because they have been hamstrung by the EHRC. Without that legal framework holding the government back, the legal rights of trans people would likely be more severely eroded, to say nothing of the danger it would pose to all of our civil liberties.

But while Keir Starmer has recently made a number of troubling comments about trans rights, and several leading Labour figures have met with anti-trans groups, he has said outright that he won’t pull Britain out of the ECHR. I don’t believe him on much, but I do believe him on that – it would be too drastic, too much of a palaver. The manifesto pledges to reform gender recognition law, which would make it easier and less intrusive for people to change their legal gender, to introduce a full, trans-inclusive ban on conversion therapy, and seems to rule out changing the Equalities Act so that it’s easier to exclude trans people from single-sex spaces. I don’t think Starmer deserves any praise for this for passing the low bar of not being as bad as Tories (touch wood), but it’s also true that he’s not giving the anti-trans movement everything they want.

Without a large-scale commitment to building social housing, it doesn’t seem like Labour making a real dent on the housing crisis, but banning no-fault evictions – which was promised by the Tories before being abandoned – is a welcome step. Applying VAT to private schools is obviously a good thing to do, as evidenced by the hysterical reaction from people who feel they deserve their unfair advantage in life because their parents – more hard-working than anyone else’s – scrimped and saved to afford £10,000 a term. The same goes for reforming non-dom tax arrangements, which would make wealthy people who reside in the UK have to pay their taxes here just like everyone else does. Through these policies, the party hopes to secure £8 billion of new revenue which it plans to spend on the NHS, green investment, schools and mental health staff, all without raising income tax. The party has also pledged to introduce voting at the age of 16, which would be a positive step for British politics and a much-needed rebuke to the boomer gerontocracy who keep us all in chains, pressing down on our necks with their sensible Boden footwear.

Speaking earlier today, Starmer promised that his government would be both “pro-business” and “pro-worker”. It is dubious whether this is really possible. Businesses and workers have competing, often mutually incompatible interests: it’s not in the interests of a company like Deliveroo to pay its drivers more or to grant them more robust workplace benefits and protection. But the sections of the manifesto which concern worker’s rights aren’t terrible. It’s true that the party’s Plan to Make Work Pay has been significantly watered down, but the manifesto commits to honouring what’s left of it: this includes banning exploitative zero-hour contracts, ending ‘fire and rehire’ practices, strengthening the rights of freelance workers, introducing “the right to switch off” when you’re not at work, and ensuring that all workers are entitled to basic rights from their first day of employment (rather than having to wait two years, as many do in the current system.) 

THE BAD

1. Further privatising the NHS.
2. Making their policies sound more radical than they actually are.
3. Adopting a punitive, authoritarian approach to migration.
4. Denying puberty blockers.
5. Failing to commit to a Palestinian state.

There are a lot of reasons not to vote Labour (personally, I will never vote for a party which has repeatedly defended war crimes), but let’s focus on the manifesto itself. During Starmer’s launch speech today, he emphasised caution, stability and his willingness to make “hard choices” – none of which heralds a bold, transformative new era in British politics. Some of the policies that sound quite good start to look a lot more underwhelming on closer inspection: a proposed “publicly-owned clean energy company” won’t actually produce or sell energy; it will just give public money to private sector companies. While investing in green energy is a good thing, it seems unlikely that this approach will “drive down energy bills” as the party claims. Labour have pledged to renationalise the railways, but this claim is also slightly misleading, as they’re not going to nationalise the “rolling stock” companies which actually own Britain’s trains. Under Starmer’s plan, the government will have to continue renting trains from the private sector at significant expense – so if you’re dreaming of £20 tickets from London to Manchester, booked the day before, you might want to dampen your expectations.

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Perhaps in an effort to win back voters who have been alienated by the party’s stance on Gaza, Labour’s manifesto does emphasise that Palestinian statehood is “the inalienable right of the Palestinian people” and “not in the gift of any neighbour”. This is not bad at the level of rhetoric, but it’s followed by a clarification which renders it meaningless: Labour could recognise a Palestinian state right away, as Norway and Spain have already done, but it is instead committing only to doing so as “a contribution to a renewed peace process which results in a two-state solution”. This is not a solid commitment, but one which can be honoured whenever they feel like it – and possibly never at all.

Instead of focusing on providing safe passages for people claiming asylum, the party is pursuing an authoritarian approach to migration, launching a new “Border Security Command” with “counter-terrorism” powers, and accelerating the speed at which migrants can be deported. Labour has pledged to scrap the Rwanda plan, but its objection is rooted in cost and practicality rather than compassion or human rights. 

In an ominous sign, Labour recently removed the words “the NHS is not for sale” from a previous document. While the manifesto is shy about using the word “privatisation” outright, it does talk about the need for the private sector to cut down waiting lists, and discusses the need for “fundamental reform” rather than investment alone (coupled with incoming Health Secretary Wes Streeting’s enthusiasm for privitisation, the writing is on the wall, I fear...) On gender-affirming care, the party commits to working with the recommendations of the (highly controversial) Cass Review, which means that no young trans people will be able to access puberty blockers unless they’re enrolled on a clinical trial. 

If there’s an upside to the near certainty of Labour winning a landslide election, it’s that you don’t have to be guilt-tripped into voting for them because the Tories are slightly worse. None of us need to go out of our way to lend symbolic support to an institutionally racist, Islamophobic and transphobic party, run by a man who is almost singularly lacking in integrity and principles. We’re getting Labour either way, so there’s never been a better time for a protest vote. 

Read our cheat sheet on the Liberal Democrat manifesto here.

Read our cheet sheet on the Green Party manifesto here.