‘They can’t stop all of us’
Do you ever get an intense feeling that we’re not alone in this universe? Do you ever sit alone in your room, high, scrolling through NASA’s Instagram and questioning your entire existence? You’re not the only one. 412,000 fellow believers have clicked ‘attending’ on a Facebook event titled ‘Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us’, and this might just be daring and all-out stupid enough to work should all 412k of us turn up for our extra-terrestrial mates.
The event was created earlier this month, urging people to join a mass storming of the Nevada military base known as Area 51 on September 20. The base is the centre of many conspiracy theories, varying from the realistic (advanced tech) to the more far-fetched (aliens imprisoned on site). The overwhelming response has driven Twitter users to share what they do best: memes.
No need to gear up, just take a look at these tips on how to storm Area 51, and what to do when you get there.
GRAB YOUR MATES AND JUST GO FOR IT
‘The more the merrier’ is an understatement in this situation – the more of us, the more chance we have of freeing our alien pals from the evil US government. Strut in with the girls a la Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam, or think up some creative ways of distracting those guards.
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR SHIT PLANNED OUT
You can’t just storm a military base without a plan, Jessica. Get planning that detailed, military grade attack with the rest of those 412k attendees so that when we all wake up on September 21, we’re plowing into a whole new world.
BE COOL ABOUT IT THOUGH, YOUR FUTURE ALIEN MATE IS WAITING TO BE RESCUED
Extra-terrestrials deserve love and so do you. Can’t get a text back? Babe, you'll get a crop circle AND a probe! Learn their ways, their language, their fits. This might be your only chance at true love so have those alien prisoners gagging.
HOST A HOUSE PARTY FOR YOUR NEW FRIENDS
We’re noble hosts, so make sure your alien buddies are getting trashed on their first night of freedom and that you’re providing the party favours. What is the next galaxy over’s version of the Nae Nae?
KEEP YOUR ALIEN SAFE
The first alien you can sneak out of Area 51, they’re yours to keep. Your sticky Millennium Alien Babies that you smooshed together in the hope of pro-creation primed you for this day. Make sure to feed them, teach them our human ways, and induct them to society as smoothly as possible – they deserve a good life, and the most lit party this side of the galaxy has ever seen. Play them some Aphex Twin or something.
EXPECT THE BEST, PREPARE FOR THE ABSOLUTE WORST
So, you tried to raid Area 51 and it didn’t work out – what else do you tell your therapist except for “it be like that sometimes”?
Y’all tryna storm Area 51 like they haven’t harvested alien technology y’all boutta run in that bitch and be zapped to dust. I warned y’all.— 𝙨𝙞𝙖𝙝 (@sugarsiah) July 4, 2019