Yesterday, we inaccurately reported that the Hadron Collider was opening a portal into hell. What we actually meant to say was that the Hadron Collider was opening a portal into the Marc Jacobs’ archive sale, which just happens to go by the name of hell. With a janky promo video set in a pixelated neo-Tokyo, the brand announced that it would be opening the vaults of Heaven to the public, starting (and probably ending) tomorrow. 

Since its inception in 2020, the brand has fast become a cult favourite, with its baby tees, shredded knitwear, mini-kilts, platform Mary Janes, and freakoid teddy bears outfitting fashion-forward girls who follow @favetiktoks420 and watch Sofia Coppola films. A site of angsty experimentation for Jacobs and his collaborator Ava Nirui, the brand has managed to make an entire lifestyle out of the pop-punk revival, aligning itself with pop culture’s most unexpected faces, from Winona Ryder and PinkPantheress to Nicki Minaj and Christina Ricci. With the usual online store currently closed – a boarded-up gate into paradise is the only thing customers can currently access – the archive sale will run the gamut of sugary grunge. 

Though details remain sparse for now, the label’s accompanying film is suggesting a Sonic the Hedgehog meets Sailor Moon reckoning, with characters travelling through a digitised recreation of a Heaven store, only to get mugged, die, and then emerge in the midst of some kind of battle in hell. Redolent of Balenciaga’s video game recreation of AW21, the whole thing will likely narrate the actual experience of trying to get hold of discounted MJ goods once the sale goes live. Keep an eye on Heaven’s Instagram for all the necessary info, otherwise click onto Heaven first thing tomorrow morning.