We take a look at the oh so opulent ensembles of Lady Gaga as the murderous Patrizia Gucci
There can be 100 people in a room and if just one of them is Lady Gaga, you best believe she’s going to let you know that she’s Italian. Signora Gaga can barely make it through an interview without finding some way to remind viewers that she is just a regular shmegular “Italian girl from New York”. So Italian in fact, that she featured in The Sopranos as a teenager. So Italian, that she only reads Italian Vogue. And so Italian that she’s even got a famous meatball recipe, which she used to lure Bradley Cooper into giving her the part in A Star is Born.
She’s definitely the kind of person to greet you with a double kiss and a ciao because y’know, she’s just Italian like that. At this point, the New Yorker's third-generation patriotism has become its own meme and it's not like the joke is lost on her either. In fact, it’s Gaga who gets the last laugh as she’s currently swanning about in northern Italy, filming Ridley Scott’s upcoming blockbuster, House of Gucci, in which she plays the murderous socialite Patrizia Gucci.
In between telling every runner, technician, and crew member that, she too is Italian (probably), Gaga has been papped in so many different outfits, that surely we’ve seen the film’s entire costuming by now? And while it’s difficult to ascertain the movie’s tone from these candid shots – flitting between ‘when'sa your Dolmio day’ levels of twee to full-on Fellini dramatism – it’s sure to be a stonker. Below, we take a look at some of Gaga’s (or Patrizia’s) best looks so far:
THE ITALIAN ELIZABETH TAYLOR
She’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she is the moment.
Patrizia Gucci married the grandson of Gucci’s founder in 1972, and they soon became ideal fodder for Italy’s scandal-hungry press machine. Formally known as Lady Gucci, Patrizia became famous for her extravagant lifestyle and expenditure, spending upwards of £8,000 a month on orchids alone. She once professed “I would rather weep in a Rolls-Royce than be happy on a bicycle”, which, quite frankly, is relatable stuff.
DOT COTTON, IS THAT YOU?
Sorry, the rain-sodden streets of Milan looked an awful lot like Albert Square there. It wouldn’t actually be all that inconceivable for Gaga to step into the shoes of Eastenders’ Dot Cotton. After all, they got along like a house on fire during that Graham Norton interview and vowed to stay in touch. Could this be a subtle nod to everyone’s favourite chain-smoking, octogenarian gossip? Probably not. Still, some good cosplay from Gaga here.
SLOSHED ON THE SLOPES
“Gym-fit couple, looking for a third. Join us for après ski at the chalet.”
It was the press shot that launched a thousand memes and an unholy thirst to nestle between the grooves of Adam Driver’s deep cable-knit sweater. Between Gaga’s sable pouffe, garish confection of jewellery, and Driver’s casually tied salopettes, this photo says one thing and one thing only: opulence. Who is this couple? Why do they look like they hate each other? And why are they so rich?
CROCODILE TEARS
You’ve been a bad girl. A very, very, bad girl Gaga! Pictured here in a sombre black dress, could Gaga be emerging from her assassinated husband’s funeral? Clutching her pearls, patting away a dry eye, knowing all along it was her doing?
In a recent documentary about her life, Patrizia went deeper into her decision to have her husband slayed. “I was furious with Maurizio,” she says. “I went around asking everyone, even the local grocer, is there someone who has the courage to murder my husband?” Her fortune teller allegedly led her to the debt-riddled pizzeria owner Benedetto Ceraulo, who took Patrizia’s £250,000 offer to take her husband’s life.
When asked why she hired a hitman to kill her husband, Patrizia responded: “My eyesight is not so good – I didn’t want to miss”. Once convicted, she turned down the right to parole, which would have required her to get a job. But, of course, that was never going to work. “I’ve never worked in my life, and I don’t intend to start now,” she told the court.
YOU'RE NOT ON THE LIST
Picture the scene: you’re in the sprawling gardens of a Gucci palazzo somewhere in the belly of Tuscany, you can hear Italo disco reverberating from the villa’s palladian windows, indistinguishable European chatter is bubbling away around you and then Gaga turns, double kisses your cheeks and hands you a Campari Spritz.
Dressed head to toe in white lace, this shot simply has to be taken from one of Patrizia’s themed “colour” parties. Hosting an array of glitterati, including the Kennedys, Patrizia made sure the clothes, decor, and food were all of a single hue at these soirées. What else is white, consumable, and goes down well at a party?