When Tangerine showed up for a first date without any make-up, she felt a wave of nervousness but was determined to show up as her most authentic self. For most of her life, the 31-year-old from Johannesburg says make-up had felt like a social condition that she had to “fulfil in order to be treated with respect as a person and as a woman.” She was tired of feeling like she was wearing a mask in public. This was her quiet act of reclaiming her identity. But her date’s reaction quickly deflated her courage – he seemed distracted, with his eyes wandering around at other diners in the restaurant. Later, her fears were confirmed when he sent a follow-up text saying he liked “women who look after themselves”. 

Tangerine is not the only woman who has ditched make-up. Pamela Anderson, Addison Rae and Perrie Edwards have all been spotted bare-faced recently, leading the Mirror to claim ‘No make-up is this summer’s hottest trend.’ Meanwhile, online trends have seen women speaking about relaxing beauty standards when dating – although not without some trepidation. “Lowkey so scary,” one TikTok user posted about stepping out on a first date without foundation.

For 27-year-old Bex, from London, choosing to wear minimal make-up on a first date with her now-partner was a positive turning point. “I was at the stage where I was ready to be authentic and wanted them to like me for who I was,” she says. She showed up for their dog walk and coffee meetup in gym clothes, with her hair scraped back. “I felt nervous [about not being glammed up], which made me sad, but I also liked the version of me that showed up. I was interested, but I wasn’t desperate to be liked or appealing.”

Bex has spent the last six years working in the fashion and beauty industry and still enjoys the art of getting dressed – and made – up. “But I’d been in so many superficial situations that were based on the wrong things, so finding someone who thought I was beautiful without any effort felt like a breath of fresh air.” She adds that she’d thought about a future where she’d be too busy to spend time in front of the mirror every day. “I wanted someone who found me beautiful because, not despite. That felt important – I think everyone deserves that.”

Ari*, who is 25 and lives in London, decided not to wear make-up on the second date with their now-partner. They don’t usually wear much – partly out of a lack of interest, partly due to wanting to spend their time on other things – but the decision to go bare-faced really came from a feeling of a deep connection on their first date (which went on for “hours and hours”). “I felt in my heart of hearts that they liked me beyond my appearance,” they say. “I do think we connected beyond the superficial, and so on the second date I was like, I think this person’s gorgeous and I’m excited to talk to them, and I think that’s how they feel about me.”

Make-up artist-turned-confidence coach Nat van Zee says that make-up can often act as a mask, or a sticking plaster for when we don’t feel confident in our own skin. She describes the current ubiquity of false eyelashes as, for some women, a form of “armour”. “It’s essentially about: will you accept me? It’s about identity, ultimately, because we all want to fit in, and we all want to be loved and liked.” For Ari, part of their no make-up dating decision was born from an excitement that things could go somewhere: “It’s like, I’m not going to keep this up forever. This is what my face is going to look like 95 per cent of the time. So they should just get used to it. The show is over!” they joke.

According to author and psychotherapist Eloise Skinner, we could be experiencing a type of collective burnout when it comes to our external appearance, thanks to the quantity of aesthetic-focused content online, or simply an exhaustion with the dating process. “With many people finding dating to be difficult, and the apps presenting the illusion of endless choice, it might feel less appropriate to invest a large amount of time and effort in preparation for a date.” She adds that “authenticity and showing up as oneself is key in a digital-first age, where we can all edit our photos to enhance our images and present ourselves differently online.”

29-year-old Saoirse is someone who has never worn much make-up – a touch here and there as a teenager but has now completely stopped. “I never feel I need to for the person I’m dating and if they had standards around it, I don’t think I’d wanna date them,” she says. “Everyone I’ve met over the last 10 years has probably met me mostly without it, I guess they are used to my face. That’s my everyday, so wearing it on a date would feel inauthentic.”

For some, not wearing make-up is political – Ari cites Andrea Dworkin’s 1974 text Woman Hating, which argues about how time-stealing beauty can be, and how oppressive the expectation of feminine maintenance often is. Skinner also notes a wider cultural evolution. “As women begin to feel less compelled to be partnered as a signifier of their own self-worth or value, it might make sense that they feel more free to show up looking any way they choose, rather than conforming to expectations around a certain date night look or make-up.” 

Still, the rise of ‘clean girl beauty’, or the appearance of no make-up, often comes with its own layers of privilege. It’s easier to go bare-faced when you have naturally clear, calm skin that doesn’t flare up under stress or hormones, or when you have money and access to expensive skincare, lasers or peels, and subtle tweakments. And in an era where lip stains, laser hair removal, fake tan and cosmetic surgery have become standard, there’s often quite a bit of effort in looking ‘effortless’. This so-called ‘high maintenance to be low maintenance beauty’ (think of the “morning shed”) shows that beautification isn’t just about what you apply to your face on one given day, but about the time and money you put into looking polished. 

For Bex, stripping things back has been a game-changer. In the past, she’d dreaded activities that she now enjoys – being at the beach, or going to the gym and sauna. “I also used to feel nervous about someone hugging or kissing me and messing up my make-up. I probably missed some really heartfelt moments because of that, which is sad.”

While van Zee stresses that women should do whatever makes them feel their happiest and most confident, she advises people who feel like make-up is a non-negotiable to have a rethink. She urges “really letting go of what people think about you. With dating, you’re outsourcing your power to the other, but when you start to say, I like myself, I love myself, then you become magnetic.” 

Ari asked their partner whether they remember them showing up on their second date without any make-up on. “They were like, ‘Oh I don’t remember that. I don’t remember whether you do or don’t wear make-up. A baddie’s a baddie!’” 

*Names have been changed