Text a melon, receive some ‘big tits’
Searching for porn can be hard. You’ve got to lift up your laptop, type stuff, click on things – none of which guarantees a great final film. “Why isn’t this easier?” you’ve asked, while scrolling through the squirting section. “Why do I have to type things? Why can’t I just get this all sent to my phone?”
Well now, thanks to Pornhub, you can. Certifying its status as the most helpful wank bank in the world (see: free college scholarships, wearable tech, anti-abuse clothing lines) the site has granted your wishes: introducing a free ‘Emoji 4 Porn’ feature.
The premise is relatively simple. You text Pornhub an emoji, and the site will reply instantly with a specially selected film relating to it. So, if you want to watch some ‘big dicks’, you send them an aubergine. You want something gay, you send them two swords.
There are also other, more obscure, options. When you send a joker emoji, you apparently get ‘funny’ porn (though I got a video called ‘I gagged lol’, which didn’t look all that hilarious). You can also get ‘cigarette’ porn (‘smoking handjob’), ‘boot’ porn (‘teen feet self-worship’) and British porn (‘black taxi black cock’).
Currently, there are 30 emoji options to choose from – though the site also includes a number of ‘secret Easter eggs’ that you can discover among the 1,620 others that are available. Understandably, it’s proved pretty hard to find out what they could be, but corn is definitely one of them. See below:
If you want to try it, text your chosen emoji to +44740392PORN (7676) if you’re in the UK. US viewers can use +1 646-760-PORN, and Canadians can use +1 855-668-PORN. No word yet on whether the feature will expand any further than that, but you can keep up to date on the official ‘Emoji 4 Porn’ site here.