Arts+Culture / Blogs17 of the saltiest comebacks in teen films‘Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You’re a virgin who can’t drive’ShareLink copied ✔️September 7, 2015Arts+CultureBlogsText Trey Taylor Stuck for a zinger when some troll comes down on you? As a teen riding the rollercoaster of hormonal change, it can be tricky to deal with your own issues, let alone attempt to fend off other aggro-douches who want to take their shitty problems out on you. So how do you deal? Here’s a master class with the shadiest characters in teen films – the ones who aren’t afraid to tell haters to get bent. Arm yourself with the most explosive verbal bitch slaps to reverberate in the callous halls of popular culture. HACKERS (1995) Kate Libby: “‘God gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties’ - Ruth Libby.” English Teacher: “I'm not sure your mother counts as a significant author of the 20th century.” Kate Libby: “Her last book sold 2 million copies.” CLUELESS (1995) Tai Frasier: “Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You’re a virgin who can’t drive.” LEGALLY BLONDE (2001) Elle Woods: “Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.” CAN’T HARDLY WAIT (1998) Denise: “Just so you know, judging from my little experience, I kind of believe in fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes.” Preston: “Especially in your case. I'm sorry. You gave that to me, I just had to take it. Take care. Peace out, G!” 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU (1999) Mr. Morgan: “I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper middle-class suburban oppression. Must be tough.” GHOST WORLD (2001) Rebecca: (making fun of Melorra) “Funky!” Enid: “What, is she black now?” JUNO (2007) Juno MacGuff: “Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, ‘Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.’” CRAZY/BEAUTIFUL (2001) Courtney Oakley: “What kind of daughter are you?” Nicole: “Not yours.” Courtney Oakley: “Thank god for that.” PROZAC NATION (2001) Lizzy: “Christ, you give me a hard time about Sam? You never loved Sam. How could you? Oh, was I mean? You can’t take it, the happening chick that you are?” Ruby: “Lizzy, I'm not crying because you're mean. I just can't imagine how incredibly painful it must be to be you.” THE DOOM GENERATION (1995) Amy Blue: “Why don't you go PASSIONATELY fuck yourself?” ROMY AND MICHELE'S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION (1997) Kelly: “You must be the most successful person in our graduating class.” Michele Weinberger: “Uh-huh. And you're not. Bye.” HEATHERS (1988) Veronica Sawyer: “You know, I have a little prepared speech I tell my suitor when he wants more than I'd like to give him. Gee, blank, I had a really nice...” Brad: “Save the speeches for Malcolm X, I just want to get laid.” Veronica Sawyer: “You don’t deserve my fucking speech.” WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE (1995) Ralphie: “You think you're hot shit, but you're really just cold diarrhea.” THE CRAFT (1996) Sarah: “What’s wrong with her?” Rochelle: “Her spell’s not working.” Bonnie: “What spell?” Rochelle: “I don't know. She doesn’t want to be white trash anymore. I told her, ‘You’re white honey! Just get over it.’” MALLRATS (1995) Shannon Hamilton: “You wanna say something?” Brodie: “Yeah. About a million things, but I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand ’em all.” STAND BY ME (1986) Ace: “Okay, Chambers, you little faggot. This is your last chance. What do you say, kid?” Chris Chambers: “Why don’t you go home and fuck your mother some more?” MEAN GIRLS (2004) Student: “Nice wig Janis, what’s it made of?” Janis Ian: “Your mom’s chest hair!” Escape the algorithm! Get The DropEmail address SIGN UP Get must-see stories direct to your inbox every weekday. Privacy policy Thank you. 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