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Still from Citizens! "True Romance"

Oscilloscope's top ten director crushes

Having already worked with the likes of Spike Jonze, Banksy and Lynne Ramsay, the film distributors send out a plea to their favourite directors...

As part of our new summer US project States of Independence we've invited our favourite 30 American curators, magazines, creatives and institutions to takeover Dazed for a day. 

Oscilloscope – the independent film distributor, started by Beastie Boy Adam Yauch, behind some of the past decade's coolest indie releases like Teenage & 12 O'Clock Boys – is taking over! They share their wealth of knowledge in a creative manifesto, take a look at a batch of new talent, and pen some love letters to the hottest directors…

Everyone has a dream date: Charlie Sheen in Ferris Bueller's Day Off (dream date in the 80s, nightmare date in the 2010's). Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions (mega babe). These same innocent crushes can happen professionally, too (say, Bill Murray & Andie MacDowell in Groundhog Day). Oscilloscope, the independent film distributor based in New York, are getting a bit broody themselves. A keen eye for the next indie hit is all they need to start salivating over their next crush, and boy, do they have some winners. Here, they expound upon ten directors with whom they have not yet worked, but (hopefully) after these directors cast a callow eye over the following love letters, they will pick up the phone à la Sleepless in Seattle to spark up a cinematic partnership.


"Hi Richard. You've only got two features under your belt, but your perfect attention to so many adolescent feelings really brings out the submarine under our belts. Plus that hair; we're just doubled over. Please keep doing what you're doing. And don't stop."


"Xavier, barely two decades from mommy's womb, and you killed it on the Croisette in Cannes anyways. The nuanced, distressed relationships in your films are fraught with complexities and truths seldom seen. We're smitten. Our heart beats only for you."


"David, a thinking bro's Joe, a true babe for all the real girls, we'd gladly devote our entire summer to painting highway lines with you. Steeped in that authentic seventies grittiness, with performances and dialogue 2 real 2 b 4gotten, your narratives provide such ample American b(r)oner, we wanna be inside you, homes."


"Miranda, we've always been a sucker for a renaissance woman. You do it all, and you do it so damn well. We and everyone we know are ablaze for the wonderfully odd, oddly touching, and touchingly authentic relationships you've shared with us, our future ain't nothing without you in it. Inviting someone to poop back and forth forever is already the heart-shaped Russel Stover box of our generation, so what more could we say? No one belongs here more than you."


"Chung-Ryoul, we don't know much about you, but we do know that your tender, lived-in portrait of man and ox made us want to live in your closet and watch you dream (in a 100% non-creepy way). Your solitary offering expanded our understanding of what a human-bovine relationship could be, and we're the better for it. You're an enigma, old partner, and like any romantic, that's our favourite kind of crush. We can't wait to see more from you."


"Jeremy, our bed sheets are in ruin after dreaming of you last night. Watching you couple gritty genre violence with the subtly uncomfortable humour that compliments it so well makes us want to spoon you. But, like, think of a grapefruit spoon. Like that. We wish you'd just drift into our lives (the bellhop will take your childhood baggage) and beach-bum around with us forever."


"Hey Asghar, do you remember that time when we were eating at the same restaurant in Cannes sending you stolen glances from across the room and battling separation anxiety? Let's put that in the past and embark on a Persian excursion, because we wanna take a ride on your highly-nuanced New Wave of domestic drama."


"Dear Mr. Wilder, we know you're beyond the sunset of your life, but we felt it would be stupid if we lost the opportunity to express our desire for a love affair with you. If you could just waltz on in to our apartment one weekend and scratch that itch, that would be ace (in the hole).  You were a real mensch, and that trait permeated the very spirit of the fantastic characters you committed to celluloid. We'll miss them majorly."


"Two wrongs don't make a right, but just a few Wright's make us want a million more, because Eddie, we're hot for your fuzz. We're freaks for your frenetic editing & pitch black humor. We'd travel to the world's end and battle the dead and undead alike just to be the pilgrim that plants his flag in the Isle of Wright. Won't you please share a Cornetto with us?"


"Paul, okay, pining over you is basically a lost cause, wishing independent cinema's prom queen would somehow look past our rubberband-ed braces and crater-ed faces to suddenly appreciate our Trapper Keeper™ covered doodles evoking the violent whimsy of a stoned Francis Bacon. But sometimes there's a reason everyone's punch-drunk over the same girl. You define and defy a generation. You are the master. And we'll do anything to drink your milkshake."