SHEREN is a stunning, neon-soaked adventure across the epic landscapes of New Mexico, Death Valley, and Las Vegas, accompanied by art and intimate writing
“Being broke ain’t no fucking joke… your perception of possibility gets a bit poor. Poor to the point that you can’t see a way through at times,” writes Cleon Grey. “I had been so poor up to the point that the only vacation I could afford to take was taking edibles and looking at pictures of places I wanted to go…”
Grey had become impoverished in every sense of the word. Approaching his 30th birthday and finding himself with some disposable income for the first time in years, he decided to ‘choose life’. He dismantled his existence and left his basement flat in the South Bronx for the trip of a lifetime. “I left empty and only hoped to return (if I did return at all) with something more than nothing,“ he tells Dazed.
“I left with no purpose, which, in the end, was what I found” – Cleon Grey
SHEREN is the account, and book, of this spiritual two-year journey across the epic landscapes of New Mexico, Death Valley, and Las Vegas. Accompanied by photographer Adrienne Raquel, they document their expedition with their stunning, high-key colour images and Grey’s intimate, confessional prose.
Like all great voyages of discovery, it’s a journey through the terrain of Grey’s psyche as well as through the dramatic desertscapes they traverse. But it’s even more than that; SHEREN is also a call to reimagine and reinvent your own life; to actually make your own dreams come true. Because if not now, when? “I left to create the life I wanted rather than waiting for it to happen,” Grey says. “This was a dream come true in a sense. The book then became the visualisation of that dream and search for purpose.”
Below we talk with Grey about being vulnerable, self-growth, and the search for meaning.
You speak in depth about your experiences in the early pages of the book and why you chose to go on this trip, but can you summarise what it was that made you take that step and leave your apartment in South Bronx?
Cleon Grey: I left to live. I had to – it was survival disguised as escapism. Days during that time felt like dying slowly, anyway. So, in my mind, it was an easy choice – life or death, purpose or pain. I chose life.
When you set out on this trip, did you have an idea of what you wanted to come back with, in terms of pictures, a project, or something more personal?
Cleon Grey: No, nothing at all. I left empty and only hoped to return (if I did return at all) with something more than nothing. I never intended to make a book or any art from the journey. I only took a camera with me to keep busy with, and it wasn’t until almost a year after returning from the early stages of the trip and connecting with Adrienne, my muse and contributing artist in the work, that she convinced me that I should create something. The book became the result of her motivation and inspiration. But originally, I left with no purpose, which, in the end, was what I found.
You speak of the pimp through this book – what does that character symbolise for you?
Cleon Grey: The two pimp references made in the book serve as a metaphor and personification of how we’re all used and abused in life, and, in turn, use and abuse others. Whether that be in relationships personal, commercial or societal. In actions physical, emotional or mental. It becomes a vicious and self-perpetuating cycle of only valuing people for what they can do for you or be to you, instead of for who they truly are and want to be.
“Go fucking create the life that you want to live. No one will give it to you, it will not happen by luck or accident, you cannot buy it, and it isn't sold in stores” – Cleon Grey
Tell us about the text within SHEREN – what function does that serve? Who are you speaking to?
Cleon Grey: While the book is a visual narrative, the words are the true story – those are the real jewels. Because it’s the honesty, vulnerability, and heart that I put into the text that I’m most drawn to and proud of. Personally, I’ve never read anything like it before. Nothing this real, raw, and transparent; which is something in looking back on things that I needed before this all began. So, in a way, I wrote this for the person I was before my trip, and for anyone else who may need some direction before tripping themselves.
Who or what is Sheren? What does it mean?
Cleon Grey: Sheren has a double meaning, and as I realised in responding to this question, an even deeper one as well. Sheren is my mother’s name. Her name is spelt ‘Sherron’ actually, but we’re Jamaican so I’ve been hearing it said in patois as Sheren my entire life. But it’s also a play on the word ‘sharing’ as the book and its two previous and more experimental iterations in past years are about me sharing my life. The deeper meaning, that honestly just came to me in this moment, to be even more vulnerable, is that the book is a conversation between me and my mother at its core. It’s the conversations that we’ve never had, and the ones that we still don’t. I’ll reflect on this deeper in private.
Can you share your favourite story from this experience?
Cleon Grey: My time with Adrienne in Arizona would be my overall favourite experience. While I’ve always been deeply drawn to her and her work, the time we shared in Arizona, and the resulting work that we created was powerful and moving in a way that’s difficult to describe in words. It’s as if we created or found an energy out there that was so real and essential, that the only way to communicate It would be to feel and experience it for yourself. The images and text in those pages, and throughout the work as a whole attempt to express that, but I know that they can only tell part of the story. There are just some moments in life that you have to be there to know, and go through to grow. Arizona was one of those moments.
What do you hope people looking at this take away from it?
Cleon Grey: This is probably a longer answer than needed, but I want to express it properly. I feel that in life many of us aren’t allowed to or don't work to do a lot of dream actualisation. We do a lot of dreaming and talking about shit that we want to do or have, but the work or opportunity often doesn’t align or appear for whatever reason. I just got sick and tired of that waiting and wanting. So, I left to create the life I wanted rather than waiting for it to happen. This was a dream come true in a sense. The book then became the visualisation of that dream and search for purpose. And this is what I would hope for someone to take away from it: Go fucking create the life that you want to live. No one will give it to you, it will not happen by luck or accident, you cannot buy it, and it isn't sold in stores. You have to fucking make it and take it. Dream it, then do it. There is no other way. And even if you ‘fail' in that pursuit, you will never regret the choice to follow your dreams. So, hopefully, SHEREN gives someone that type of energy.
What lessons did you learn on this trip? Did you find what you were searching for?
Cleon Grey: More than any lesson, what I found was a life – a purpose. Something worth living for.
SHEREN by Cleon Grey and contributing artist Adrienne Raquel is available now
