Drake performed at Coachella last night and rolled through his hits during a set that lasted over an hour. He also played "Madonna" off his mixtape If You're Reading This It's Too Late and was joined onstage by the Queen Of Pop herself. Next up: one of the most horrific kisses that this planet has ever seen.

It's a strange moment to take in, because it feels like you've caught your grandparents snogging, but the duo's body language has more in keeping with two nervous teenagers who have literally never kissed anyone before. Were there even tongues? Hard to say. The kiss has the sexual charge of starfish mating.

After the kiss, Madonna announces "I'm Madonna" (just to remind everyone) before walking offstage. Drake laughs and says, "Oh shit, what the fuck just happened?" 

It's an excruciating moment, worse than that fall at the Brits, worse than when she was Instagramming pictures of Martin Luther King tied in black lace for her Rebel Heart album campaign, worse than when she premiered "Living For Love" on Snapchat, 'cause you know, yoof.

With so many bizarre Madge moments taking place in such a short space of time, there's a good chance that some of them will have been planned. With this kiss, it's hard to know. I pray that it was spontaneous because the idea of two human beings practising this loveless canoodle again and again is even sadder than Drake's introspection.

You can watch the full kiss below: