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Ranking the most cursed fake Amazon worker tweets

Science & TechFeature

‘Hi! Real human here!’ – In the lead up to the historic Amazon union election, something curious began taking place on Twitter

TextAlex Peters

On Monday (March 29) Amazon workers in Bessemer, Alabama cast their vote in a historic election to determine whether they would unionise – an event which would mark the retailer’s first union in the US and be a watershed moment for organised labor. The election was fiercely fought and in the lead up a curious thing began to happen online. Newly made Twitter accounts with few followers and even fewer tweets started speaking out in defense of Amazon, pushing back against criticism of working conditions at the company.

With their stock photo profiles, uniform handles (@AmazonFC followed by a name), and transparent anti-union sentiments, people quickly became suspicious that these “Amazon workers” were in fact big ol’ fakes working to improve the image of the company and dismiss legitimate concerns about working conditions. These concerns range from employees reportedly having to pee in bottles because the bathroom breaks they are granted don’t allow them enough time to travel there and back to high injury rates and heat map surveillance to detect if too many employees are gathering in the same place at the same time.

What’s clearly not legitimate is some of the hilariously bad tweets that have emerged from the Amazon “ambassadors” who, according to documents obtained by The Intercept, were chosen for their “great sense of humor” and trained to confront critics. From the suspicious assertions of being human and backwards smileys to the peppy use of punctuation and how-do-you-do-fellow-kids slang, something is just off about these tweets. Here we review some of the worst.

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Amazon GaryTwitter/@AmazonFCGary

Amazon Gary

Starting off strong with this tweet from Amazon Gary who is very keen to reassure everyone that he is in fact a real boy. A few things here tip us off about Gary. His excessive use of exclamation marks. The enthusiasm of the capital letters in TONS. And the fact that despite having all these TONS of opportunities to grow, Gary has been stuck in the same position for six years now. A tier one associate, by the way, is an entry level position.

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