Anna Delvey tells Trump how to thrive in prison ahead of impeachment trial

In some good news from 2021: it’s been a pretty shit few months for Donald Trump. First, he lost re-election, then he was banned from Twitter, then he had to abdicate the presidential throne – and face trolling by Greta Thunberg – and now, he’s got himself into some legal trouble (again).

The former president is facing multiple cases, including a second impeachment trial – following the storming of the Capitol by his supporters – and a number of sexual misconduct charges. Unluckily for him, Anna Delvey – New York’s favourite scammer – is here to help. The fake heiress, who’s currently serving a four to 12 year sentence, has written to Trump, offering her advice on how to thrive in prison.

In a letter on her website, Delvey, who spent some time at New York’s notorious Rikers Island prison, tells Trump: “Judging from my own experience and considering your vast resources and high incentive to flee, it’s inevitable you will end up remanded and sent to Rikers Island. I feel that it’s my duty to share my newfound wisdom with someone who will have a plentiful of time and opportunity to put it to good use – you.”

“Surely you will be pleased to discover that this is a surprisingly lawless place (for a government institution), where rules are viewed as a mere suggestion and boundaries don’t exist,” Delvey continues.

The scammer goes on to claim she’s “killing it at being a model prisoner”, adding that she handled prison “beautifully.” “Not only was I surviving, I was thriving,” she declares. Delvey – whose real name is Anna Sorokin – was convicted of fraud in April 2019 after scamming, tricking, and compelling her way into exclusive social circles and parties, and conning rich attendees out of hundreds of thousands of dollars as she went. Her story – exposed in a New York Times article – is the subject of a forthcoming Netflix series, starring Julia Garner.

Among her pieces of prison advice for Trump are: avoid suicide watch (“it’s neither a good look, nor something you want to be remembered by”), don’t pull a medical emergency that requires an outside hospital trip (“a tricky maneuver that can potentially backfire”), and make the right friends in security (“you may or may not be able to get a cell phone”).

Delvey also tells the former president the best place to make an unrecorded phone call, and warns him to avoid the food in prison, advising instead that he “detox from ubiquitous things like sugar, alcohol, dairy, fried and processed foods”.

More tips include: avoid “Jesus freaks” and “depressed white boys” – the latter is just wise life advice IMO – don’t let The New York Times “cajole you into giving them an interview”, and stay away from all extracurricular programmes.

“I had no one to teach me any of this before I got here, they told me to go solve my own puzzles. I had to learn directly from the streets. And yards and hallways. I am an autodidact,” Delvey concludes. “It feels great to finally be able to share all this invaluable advice. Telling my story is what really makes me glow from within! You’re welcome!”

In 2019, Dazed interviewed Delvey’s former friend Rachel DeLoache Williams, who was scammed out of $62k by the fake heiress. “There’s something about sociopaths that lures you in,” DeLoache Williams said at the time. “She had this enigmatic charm that made you sort of watch her. I think she had this drive that was untethered by moral implications.”

Read Delvey’s full letter to Trump here.