5 things Kurt Cobain might have enjoyed more than GPS

In a recent interview with Variety magazine, Helen Mirren made a somewhat bizarre remark. “I always say, it’s so sad that Kurt Cobain died when he did, because he never saw GPS,” she said, before describing the technology as “the most wonderful thing”.

There’s no denying that GPS is useful. Travel writers are always trying to convince us that getting lost is a ‘magical’ experience, but it’s mostly just stressful and annoying. Unless you’re on holiday, you probably don’t have the time to spend hours discovering enchanting back streets, staring up at pediments and musing upon the nature of modernity – you just want to find the nearest Tesco Express as quickly as possible. But of all the things that Kurt Cobain might miss about this blissful utopia that we call modern life, this is what Mirren went for? We think we could do better. Here are five things we think Kurt Cobain would have enjoyed a lot more. 

ELON MUSK

An iconoclastic rebel who inspired a generation with his anti-establishment attitude, willingness to speak his mind and defiant refusal to sell out to corporate advertisers… but enough about Kurt Cobain! Seriously, though, there’s no doubt that Kurt would have admired the punk rocker ethos which Elon Musk has brought to his management of X, The Everything App. It’s true the pair wouldn’t have seen eye-to-eye on everything: Kurt was a staunch opponent of racism and misogyny who played benefit gigs in support of the pro-choice movement and gay rights; Elon Musk is a far-right demagogue who loves retweeting neo-Nazis. But setting aside those superficial differences, can you imagine how hard the memes would go if they got together in a group chat? 🔥

THE VIDEO FOR ADDISON RAE’S “AQUAMARINE”

Kurt had a great taste in music, so he would have appreciated Aquamarine’s sleek production and subtle references to Ray of Light-era Madonna.  He was also not only a smoker, but someone who looked very cool while sparking up – so to see Addison Rae smoking two cigarettes? Forget about it! 

RICHARD QUINN’S FLORAL DRESSES

Kurt Cobain frequently wore dresses, but they were often somewhat tatty, shapeless, charity shop affairs. Freed from the grunge aesthetic of the 90s – a time when it wasn’t considered cool to look as though you had made any effort – imagine how fabulously he could dress today. It’s a tragedy that we will never see him strutting the stage in one of London-based designer Richard Quinn’s gorgeous, intricate floral pieces. 

THE WIDER AVAILABILITY OF ESTROGEN 

There is long-running speculation that Kurt was actually trans, based on both his androgynous aesthetic and the fact that he often wrote in his diaries about experiencing gender dysphoria. It’s tricky to apply this term retroactively to someone who never identified with it themselves. But maybe…?

THE LABOUR PARTY UNDER KEIR STARMER 

Both Keir Starmer and Kurt Cobain grew up working class: Kurt spent a portion of his teenage years sleeping in empty buildings, hospital waiting rooms and even under a bridge; Starmer’s dad was a tool-maker. Like Starmer, Kurt would have eventually realised that the key to transforming society is through sensible, pragmatic and business-friendly fiscal policy. There really is ‘Something in the Way’ – bureaucratic red tape! Had he been alive to see it, he would surely have greeted the news of Starmer’s landslide with a hearty cheer and rocking guitar solo: Smells Like Teen Spirit? More like ‘Smells Like the Adults Are Back in the Room’.