Over the weekend, legendary producer Aphex Twin made a surprise debut as a wedding DJ. As you’d expect, he provided a whirlwind tour of elevated club classics, including “Cotton Eye Joe”, the “Cha Cha Slide”, and “Uptown Funk”, before climaxing with an incendiary, 10-minute remix of “Mambo No. 5”. His onstage banter was every bit as electrifying as the musical curation: “Marriage is a workshop,” he quipped with a devilish grin, “the husband works… and the wife shops!” The crowd went wild when he demanded to know whether there were any ladies from Reading in the house.

That’s what I’d have expected if Aphex Twin was DJ’ing at my wedding, anyway, but his friends – who were tying the knot – clearly had a different ambience in mind. Enjoyed by an intimate crowd of just 100 people, the set had all the hallmarks of a classic Aphex performance: psychedelic visuals, ear-splitting volume, techno and drum-and-bass. 

Whether this marks an exciting new career on the wedding circuit, we’ll have to wait and see: Aphex Twin: the artist – whose real name is Richard D. James – is currently looking forward to the 20th anniversary of his second album, Selected Ambient Works Volume II, which is set for a rerelease in October. More intriguingly, rumours emerged online earlier this year that A24 are working on a biopic based on his life, with Poor Things actor Willem Dafoe touted as the leading man.

The source for this rumour is just “the internet” (specifically, a random Instagram reel), and the premise doesn’t really make sense, given that Dafoe is almost 20 years older than James. But it does sound good: maybe it could be a heartwarming comedy-drama about the most acclaimed experimental producer of his day finding a new life – and a second shot at love – when he rebrands as a wedding DJ? Olivia Colman as the romantic interest? Jim Broadbent as the antagonist, a rival wedding DJ – and former dubstep wunderkind – who will stop at nothing to sabotage Aphex Twin’s dreams? If you‘re reading this, A24, let’s make it happen.