When you think of “Toxic” by Britney Spears, what springs to mind? Those sultry opening violins? Trolly dolly Britney cosplaying as an air stewardess? Millennial women screaming the chorus at their local All Bar One? Probably all of those things. However, the very last place you might imagine the song to be is on British children’s television. Despite this seemingly obvious fact, that was exactly where Spears and her team set up shop, beaming her new track into millions of homes on an unsuspecting Friday teatime.

Let’s set the scene. It’s January 23, 2004, and Blue Peter is struggling. Ratings: down. Pet turtle: dead. Konnie: Huq. They had one shot. One chance to turn it all around. Matt Baker (of “how on earth do you sleep at night?” fame), has been tasked with introducing that day’s musical guest. After a short but sweet intro, the camera pans to the stage, and there she is: Miss Britney Jean Spears herself, flanked by dancers, ready to blow the roof off the CBBC studio. Once the performance begins, Spears’ lip-biting and hip-shaking makes it abundantly clear she does not intend on pulling any punches. And while the producer’s decision to line the stage with kids in uniform certainly makes for some interesting optics, you can’t help but smile at their happy little faces. “You’re dangerous,” purrs Spears, “I’m loving it.” The schoolchildren whoop with joy.

The singer is in town promoting her fourth album In The Zone, and she’s already having one hell of a week. British 00s touchstones GMTV and Popworld have been treated to a performance of the track the day before, and tomorrow she’ll take “Toxic” to the Top Of The Pops stage. On closer inspection of those other performances, they look to be pretty identical to the one performed on Blue Peter – same dancers, same routine, same intensely erotic overtones. With Ofcom breathing down her neck and Crimewatch in the studio next door, Britney turned round and said: fuck them kids, I’m doing ME.

There’s even a moment during the performance – one minute and 49 seconds to be exact – where the camera jarringly cuts to our pre-pubescent audience, Spears’ moves obviously too racy for air (if you check the corresponding moment of the TOTP performance, a dancer has her hand on Spears’ chest while they convulse to the beat). With this frankly draconian piece of censorship aside, the rest of the performance continues without a hitch, before Matt Baker pipes up at the end (he really can’t help himself) with a “lovely job! Very nice!” Despite her obvious terror at Baker’s broad County Durham accent, Spears smiles that winning Hollywood smile, and the performance comes to a close.

Bizarrely enough, Spears performance on Blue Peter isn’t the only thing that connects “Toxic” with British daytime telly. The track was co-written by Cathy Dennis in 2003, who at the time was dating a man called Noel Fitzpatrick. Legend has it the pair broke up, and Dennis wrote the song not long after, pouring her heartache into the tale of an intoxicating man too addictive to quit. But who did that man grow up to become? None other than Dr Noel Fitzpatrick, a.k.a. the ‘supervet’ who sometimes goes on This Morning. A legacy camper than the song itself. Long live “Toxic”!

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