Rumours are flying that Yeezus wants to buy Michael Jackson's old house/theme park – here's what we think he'd do with the place
This week, the internet came alive with news that Kanye West might be buying Neverland, Michael Jackson's old house-slash-really creepy theme park. The 2,700-acre property is reportedly on the market for $100 million, a price Kanye is said to have balked at – he wants Neverland, but at $15 million less than it's priced at.
This is all conjecture at best, with all the information attributed to an anonymous source talking to the Daily Star. There can be no doubt that Kanye is heavily into MJ, having namedropped him in songs several times over the years and once saying in interview, "I would not be Kanye West if it wasn't for Michael Jackson." Will this fandom really motivate Kanye to buy Neverland and live in it with his family? What happens if the kids don't grow up? What happens if Jacko's ghost is still in there trying to build more rollercoasters?
Given its murky past, Neverland wouldn't be my first choice for raising kids, but then again, Kanye and I probably think differently about a lot of things. If he does buy it, here's how we think he'd breathe new life into a place that many would file under "haunted house".
BUILD AN ART SCHOOL
Kanye's already proved that he's got tutoring chops, having shown up to take classes at Rick Owens' old college in LA as part of his community service. He also held a talk at Oxford University where he spread his knowledge on topics such as class, consumerism and luxury. West was distraught when Louise Wilson died and we suspect that mentoring is something he's keen on – just look at how many people he takes under his wing when he makes records. Imagine actually studying fashion or music under Kanye in Neverland. We'd normally say "you couldn't make it up", but we just did.
HOST HIS OWN FASHION WEEK
He's finally making headway in the fashion industry after a long time of struggling to be taken seriously. This year he debuted an adidas collection at New York Fashion Week, accompanied by a sleek lookbook. No doubt about it, he's arrived. Designers are constantly looking for new spaces to show their work and reinvigorate the surroundings in which people absorb their ideas. Now that Kanye's got his foot in the fashion door he'll be looking for ways to stay and we can't see him having a problem elevating himself on to a pedestal next to major cities. What better way to say "I'm here" than hosting your own event. I'd go to "Kanye Fashion Week SS16 at Neverland" over any of them.
PUT ON HIS OWN HOUSE PARTY/GIG
Everyone knows that house parties with a live act are the actual shit. Michael Jackson actually did host a couple of parties at Neverland – one of them for his 45th birthday and another when he opened the gates to "about 200 children and adults" for a Christmas party. No disrespect to Jackson's hosting technique of walking around with a massive umbrella shaking people's hands and letting everyone have a go on small rides, but we've got a feeling Kanye would do better.
The last time he came to London and organised his own show, he shut down the city and brought a whole host of special guests. There are nearly 3,000 acres to play with at Neverland, easily enough for an outdoor concert. Kanye's got enough cash to pay for a licence, too. If he buys Neverland and doesn't throw at least one enormous party, then Kanye's "everyone should be able to have everything" rhetoric is BS and he's a 21st-century Selfish Giant.
BUILD A HALL OF MIRRORS AND CREATE HIS OWN PALACE OF VERSAILLES
Kanye's a sentimental soul and a family man. He's also got an enormous ego, meaning that he'd have absolutely no qualms about building a hall of mirrors in Neverland, a place he can look at himself all day while being reminded of the place in which he and Kim tied the knot. Kanye once compared his daughter North to royalty, but where's her palace at?