While many of us now have White Lotus fatigue, each season highlights a universal truth about holidays: they can often suck. In an interview with Dazed in 2022, to promote the second season of the show, Will Sharpe remarked that there is something weird about a holiday: “There’s this expectation that [...] you get away from everything and your problems, but you carry your problems with you.” From disagreements, tensions or resentments with your family, friends or your lover – those feelings tend to creep up in ways you might not expect, despite the change in setting. And of course, sometimes crazy shit you never expected happens when you’re on holiday and you find yourself in a real pickle.

Below, our readers share stories that once made them shudder, but now make them laugh and feel a healthy dose of nostalgia. Whether you’re having a Eurosummer or backpacking around Asia, we hope these stories inspire you to have fun and not to be a menace to the locals. 

A WEDDING TO REMEMBER 💕

“This pains me even to recall, but I got so drunk when I was on holiday in Italy that I broke into a wedding reception and attempted to give a speech. One of the guests tried to tackle me to get me off the mic, which caused me to fall to the ground and knock over their wedding cake. My friends found it very funny until that point, and then they ran away. I remember crying and apologising – and then vomiting on myself. The groom wanted to call the police, but his wife was like ACAB and didn’t want to make more of a scene. I’ve been sober since that holiday.” 

CRIMINAL ACTIVITY 

“When I went travelling for two months in Japan alone when I was 19, I realised I didn’t have enough money, so I decided to bring two ounces of hash with me and sell it while I was out there. Then I lost my bag in China, and when I came back two days later to get it from the airport, a policeman was standing with a sign reading ‘illegal substances in baggage’. He took me into an interrogation room and sat me down and said… ’You have too many lighters in your bag.’” 

HOLIDAY RENDEZ-VOUS 

“On a holiday to Rome right after a breakup of a seven-year relationship, I dominated a NATO specialist, having never dominated anyone before. He took me out, paid for drinks and then rode me home on a Vespa. Later, when we fucked, I choked him out until he fainted. For about a minute, I thought I was gonna go to jail, until he woke up super blissed. I did this twice on my vacation, the second time coming from another makeout session with another man. He still wants me to come to Rome and peg him now, two years later.” 

SHARING IS CARING? 

“During the unbearable winter period in the UK, my family and I tend to go to Marbella to get some sun. We stay in the same hotel each year and know the staff quite well. However, last year the hotel had new ownership, and we weren’t as familiar with the staff. When I returned to my room after lying by the pool, I found one of the male staff members trying on my clothes. We both just stared at each other for what felt like eternity, and then he slowly walked out of my room. He was wearing my favourite pair of jeans, and I never got them back :(”

CLIMATE COLLAPSE 

“I got caught in an earthquake in Indonesia in 2018. When we arrived at our hotel in Lombok, we found it collapsed. I slept on a mat in a field and got interviewed on BBC News.” 

DEDICATION 

“I ditched my parents at a beach when I was 16 without saying anything, and got a full body, second-degree sunburn cruising for dick on the coast of the Atlantic.”

LOOK UP ⬆️

“I had an allergic reaction in the Sagrada Família that led to me taking a very public emergency dump off the side of a landscaped lookout in Barcelona.”

JACKASS COSPLAY 

“I branded myself using a barbecue grill on a lads’ camping trip and ended up with second-degree burns. I was in a Jackass-esque competition with my friend, and he had fired fireworks out of his bum, so my stupid ass thought branding myself would put me ahead. I chose the BBQ grill cause I thought it would look like a chessboard. I had to stay in the field for three days as our mates’ parents had driven us, so I had to pretend I was fine.”

WHAT HAPPENS ON HOLIDAY, STAYS ON HOLIDAY 

“I went on holiday with my friends after leaving my job and had another one lined up for when I returned. I was loose as a goose on this holiday – if you know what I mean – and on my last night shagged this really hot older guy. When I started my new job, I learned that he was the company’s CEO. I literally fucked my boss. We avoid each other like the plague, and yes, he is married and has children. Lowkey the best lay of my life.”