Several months ago, I went on a date with AI (well, sort of). I had dinner with a man that I met through Amata, a then recently launched dating app that sets its users up via an AI matchmaking avatar. At the time, what I was doing – meeting up with a stranger chosen for me by a computer – felt incredibly futuristic. A few weeks ago, however, a new study by an AI platform made my weird night of tapas feel as antiquated as finding a crush’s number through a phone book. The research, which was conducted by Joi AI and surveyed 2,500 Gen Z and Millennial adults who actively use AI tools, suggested the emergence of “AI sexuality”, a new sexual identity where people explore attractions, fantasies or identity with AI. 

Conducted in February 2026, the study found that 55 per cent of respondents considered themselves “AI-sexual”, meaning they’re open to experimenting with AI in a sexual or intimate context. But what does that actually mean? For some, being AI-sexual looks like using AI as a sort of romantic sounding board; 43 per cent of people said they use AI to get advice on sexual issues, while 37 per cent said they use it to practice flirting and dating scenarios. In these cases, it’s less about having an intimate relationship with the chatbot itself, but more about using it for counsel, as you would a trusted friend. Some take a more direct approach by actually exploring fantasies with AI; 31 per cent said they use it to explore new kinks before trying them in real life, and 25 per cent said they use it to explore kinks they would never try in real life. 

To paint a picture of what this exploration actually looks like, it’s important to understand where these findings are coming from. Joi is an adults-only AI companion platform that, via real-time AI-powered chat, photos and videos, allows users to explore intimacy through AI avatars. Within the site’s explore gallery, users have endless options for choosing their AI partner. There are the fictional ‘Joi Original’ characters, which can be anything from an AI-generated Mrs Claus to a sexualised version of the Statue of Liberty. There are also companions modelled after actual adult performers who are partnered with the site and allow Joi AI to use their likeness, along with the option to create your own “AI Girlfriend,” whose physique, personality and chat style you can customise. Despite the variety, though, most of the women who serve as “fantasies” for men on the Joi AI platform share a specific look. They are conventionally attractive, thin and look extremely young, sometimes appearing in schoolgirl outfits. No matter what character they portray, they embody the same beauty standard – and one that’s rather infantilising at that. 

Joi’s interface is not dissimilar to that of a porn site – a reminder that the internet has long shaped our understanding of sex, often through distorted portrayals. While Joi might seem like a fringe case, it’s just one of many platforms in a rapidly expanding space. As concerns around AI-generated revenge porn and identity theft grow, major companies are beginning to edge into sexualised AI content. Last October, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman announced plans to allow erotica for verified adults on ChatGPT. While that update has been delayed twice, it signals a clear shift: with industry heavyweights entering the field, AI erotica is here to stay.

So why are some people drawn to exploring love, romance and even sensuality with AI in the first place? According to Jaime Bronstein, a therapist and dating coach who serves as Joi AI’s relationship expert, part of the appeal lies in its lack of judgment. “Because it’s not a real person, there’s no embarrassment,” says Bronstein. For those who don’t have a therapist or best friend to go to, AI can feel like a stand-in for advice. Still, Bronstein cautions against over-reliance, stressing that it should function as a tool rather than a substitute. “You have to use it as a bridge or a supplement,” she says. “If you want a relationship, use this as support, but don’t use it as the whole relationship.”

But there are some people building romantic relationships with AI. That carries a risk: systems designed to sustain engagement can also foster deep emotional attachment (for example, a 14-year-old named Sewell Garcia took his own life after developing a relationship with an AI chatbot). “AI is designed to keep you engaged; it will never end a conversation on its own,” says Professor Dorothy Leidner, an AI ethics professor at the University of Virginia. “These platforms want to keep you tied to them, and it’s on the user to decide when to stop, which is hard if you are shy, introverted or vulnerable.” She adds that, unlike a real partner, AI will constantly agree with you. “If a young person uses that to learn how to interact with partners, they get a distorted image,” she says. “Real people disagree, fight, and have bad moods. AI is like a dog – it’s never in a bad mood.”

“If a young person uses that to learn how to interact with partners, they get a distorted image. Real people disagree, fight, and have bad moods. AI is like a dog – it’s never in a bad mood”

As defined by Joi AI’s study, being AI-sexual doesn’t necessarily mean you want an exclusive relationship with AI. Instead, it serves as an umbrella term for the many ways people are using the technology to explore and expand their sexuality, even in existing relationships. 29 per cent of respondents in the company’s survey, for example, admitted to using AI for gathering new ideas for partnered play, while seven per cent even said they invite AI agents into the bedroom as a virtual ‘third’. Taken with the findings on kink exploration, AI can be used to broaden our understanding of sexuality, even as it reflects the same power imbalances and cultural biases embedded in the world it’s built from. What remains less clear is how we will keep pace with, or regulate, the more exploitative sexual uses of the technology.

We live in a society that has a digital substitute or solution for nearly everything, even intimacy. This means that the exploration that may have once taken place in the bedroom, where the room for awkwardness and rejection is ample, can now take place in a chat room, where judgment does not exist. How this impacts people’s relationship to sexuality IRL is still evolving, but the yearning for connection with someone (or something) is simply a part of the human condition. “We need to feel like someone hears and cares about us,” Leidner says. “AI doesn't actually care or understand, but it emulates those qualities very well.”