In August last year, a group of young Americans came together under the backdrop of a Los Angeles gym to fight their exes at an Evil Situationship Boxing Rave. The event – which was inspired by the plot of the cult film Scott Pilgrim vs The World, where the protagonist is forced to battle his girlfriend’s seven evil exes – saw past-lovers go head-to-head in the ring, accompanied by a DJ and live commentary. The ethos behind it? Turning an exercise around emotional avoidance into play.

This is just one of many gatherings that Grown Kid, an organisation designed to make ‘young adulthood less lonely through community and play’, has hosted over the past few years (in one of their more recent editions, they put on a speed-dating wrestling night for singles in Brooklyn). Founded off the back of a youth loneliness crisis, the New York-based group is on a mission to help adults to combat ‘doomerism’ through play. There’s something “inherently silly” about the events they put on, according to the community’s founder, Gael Aitor, which apparently makes it easier for people to “play into the bit”.

“Really, they’re about teaching life and social skills. The ‘wrestling speed-dating event’ is an event about consent and mutual consent. Our ‘fight against your evil-situationship’ rave is about healthy communication,” he explains. “We believe that play is transformative; it unlocks confidence. Confidence enables care and care sustains community.” 

Grown Kid isn’t the only platform centering play in their ethos. In fact, over recent years, many of us have taken steps to try to reinforce a relationship with play into our lives: many of us are rediscovering our childhood hobbies, Gen Z are increasingly looking for authentic, in-person experiences, and community groups are continuing to pop up at a breakneck rate. We’ve seen terms like funmaxxing – a mindset prioritising enjoyment and whimsy over an obsessive, result-driven approach – enter our lexicon. And, just one month ago, the internet became enamoured with Alysa Liu, the two-time Olympic gold winning figure skater, who rose to social-media stardom for her playful attitude towards her sport.

“Play is a natural drive, biologically hardwired into the most ancient part of our brain,” says Mia Sundstrom, the CEO of The National Institute of Play, who likens the phenomena to “oxygen” in its vitality. An importance that’s been echoed in both culture and in science. Research shows that play can even be just as beneficial for adults as it can be for children; it can help us cope with stress, make us more resilient when facing hardships, and is also an essential part of our development well past childhood.

“Play helps us produce this healthy neuroplasticity, which is what makes our brains more able to adapt and reorganise over time regardless of our age,” continues Sundstrom. “It also helps to support mechanisms that we need to fight off mental health challenges. When we don’t play we’re more susceptible to those maladaptive pathways, feelings like anxiety loop.”

We’ve replaced a lot of ‘free play’ and ‘unstructured play’ with scrolling time, which is not play

It’s no secret that since the pandemic, young people have been more conscious of how they spend their time, with many of them eager to trade screens for face-to-face connection. But, a difference in the way we socialise – with an increasing amount of Gen Z exploring sobriety – has pushed those who want to play to pursue alternative communities. “We talk about escapism a lot, and it’s funny that interacting in real life has now become a way to escape from social media,” says Yusuf Ntahilaja, the founder of London-based chess and music community Knight Club.

Knight Club began in 2023, with the intention of creating a space where people could “take a break from the mundane” without being at home or at work. “In this new age, escapism actually means putting your phone down and spending time with people. They become more interested in finding spaces like this where it’s a more relaxed way to meet people,” Ntahilaja says.

Yet, as demand for these community spaces rises, so does the risk of their becoming commodified. Among an ever-expanding sea of run clubs, literary salons and social saunas, it’s no surprise that online brands are tapping into community-led events to grow their businesses and make an easy buck. In this context, play becomes a privilege reserved for those of us with time and money. 

It’s one of our greatest performance enhancing tools. When we spend time in a play state we are fully present with what we’re doing

For those from LGBTQ+ communities, this commodification just makes an already sparse pool of accessible safe spaces even smaller. Sandy Chuchucha, the founder of Sanura Dance, a FLINTA dance school based in South London, says she is constantly trying to make her club more accessible. “London makes [being accessible] very difficult because it’s impossible to [live] in Zone 1. You need to have connections,” she says.

These systemic play barriers become more pronounced as we move further into adulthood. “Not everyone has equal access to play,” continues Sundstrom. “If someone is financially strapped or in a marginalised community, they have fewer means to play.” She adds that many of us – almost all of us – are finding it hard to play given the amount of time we spend glued to our phones. “There are also time barriers to play because of the distractions we’re facing with technology. We’ve replaced a lot of ‘free play’ and ‘unstructured play’ with scrolling time, which is not play.”

Perhaps, to feel its benefits, we must begin to pursue play outside of the structures society imposes on us. There are myriad mental health benefits to playing, and as in the case of Alysa Liu, it can even help us achieve success. “It’s one of our greatest performance-enhancing tools,” adds Sundstrom. “When we spend time in a play state, we are fully present with what we’re doing. We are fully in tune with our brain and body.”