My first serious relationship began with a drunken kiss on a club dancefloor. No spreadsheets, checklists or dating app admin. When writer Kurt Vonnegut warned of the dangers of replacing human contact with technological ease, he pointed out that, “We’re on Earth to fart around. We’re dancing animals… And it’s like we’re not supposed to dance at all anymore.” 

Thankfully, this year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday, and the internet has decided it’s time to be dancing animals again. This Saturday has turned into an unofficial singles night out. One video on TikTok – stating, “When you realise Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday night so everyone out must be single…” – has racked up more than 10 million views and 2,000 comments. As couples head out for romantic dinners or cosy up at home, single people are welcoming the return of the sweaty dancefloor make-out and the smoking-area flirtation that have been chipped away at by our reliance on dating apps.

Katie, 29, is one such single who’s heading out with her other single friends this Saturday night. “I’m very open to meeting someone,” she says. “I think people who are out in groups will either be entirely single and looking, or deliberately not on the pull.” For Katie, nightlife offers a fuller picture of a potential partner than a dating app profile ever could. “Meeting someone on a night out gives you the chance to take into account all the elements of their attractiveness, rather than just photos,” she says. “Their personality, humour, mannerisms, annoying voices, smells…” 

As dating app burnout continues to mount, many are seeking out initial romantic encounters that feel more visceral. And there are few places more visceral than the raw, sweaty atmosphere of a club. “Meeting someone in a club can be quite gritty,” says Belle, 23, who will be going out on Valentine’s Day with her single flatmates. “There’s an element of filth to it that you don’t get with a hyper-optimised Hinge profile. Online we can forget that the people we’re looking at are real, but meeting someone at a club breaks that virtual cleanliness and snaps us back to reality.” 

“Meeting someone on a night out gives you the chance to take into account all the elements of their attractiveness, rather than just photos. Their personality, humour, mannerisms, annoying voices, smells…”

With so many facets of our lives and routines optimised to the max, the club dance floor is one of the few spaces where spontaneous serendipity still exists. Sure, you could pass your number to the hottie across from you in the coffeeshop, but that requires a level of bravery that most of us simply do not possess. The club, however – where lights are dimmed and inhibitions are lowered – could feel less intimidating. For many, like Katie and Belle, it also feels more real. 

However, puritanical dating advice often regurgitates the idea that your soulmate is very much not in the club. Clubs are typically spaces where people get drunk and let loose, not where they seriously plan for their long-term future. As such, they are more often associated with drunken one-night stands than with serious relationship potential. 

Jasmine, 28, wasn’t necessarily looking for love when she met her partner 10 years ago in the smoking area of London’s Corsica Studios. They spent the night “chatting shit about tunes and bonding over a mutual, greatest-of-all-time-type favourite electronic music artist,” she recalls. Nightlife and music events are not just for getting so drunk that you build up the courage to chat to someone you fancy. There are also places to go to enjoy the music and potentially meet people with similar interests. The connections you make there are not predestined to be shallow and surface-level. 

“I think your soulmate is probably not in the traditional club,” says Chlo, 27, who met her partner at a vinyl DJ night at a working men’s club. “They’re in the niche genre club, themed night or alternative bar space. If you go somewhere with a subculture that isn’t just ‘get as drunk as possible and get your energy out’ then you’ll probably have more luck.” Your soulmate could be in the club. They’re just probably not drinking blue VKs while Mr Brightside plays for the third time that night. 

“Your soulmate is probably not in the traditional club. They’re in the niche genre club, themed night or alternative bar space”

There is a darker side to this Valentine’s Saturday online trend, though. Some videos and comments from men say that if they see women out on Saturday night, they will “assume they are single” – as if that takes away a woman’s right to say no to them. This serves as a sad reminder that nightlife can also be a hotspot for creepy, entitled men, and this is heightened around specific holidays. Valentine’s Saturday could easily end up feeling like a disappointing New Year’s Eve with some people wandering the club desperately searching for a kiss. 

“I'm sure more singles will be flirting with each other while out this year, but trying to hook up with a stranger on Valentine’s Day seems a bit sad,” says Naydeline, 27, who will be going out with friends this Saturday. “It's like going on a first date on Valentine’s Day: it doesn’t feel right, and maybe it’s a bit forced. If you meet someone, great! But also, just have a good time and don’t feel the need to “find someone” simply because it’s V-day and you’re feeling lonely.”

Most singles aren’t approaching this Valentine’s Day exclusively as a chance to go out ‘on the pull.’ Romantic possibility hangs in the periphery – like it does every night out when you’re single – but the best nights unfold spontaneously. The magic of meeting someone through nightlife isn’t that it was planned or forced. It’s the opposite. It’s that you went out with your friends to listen to music you love and have a good time. Anything else is an unexpected bonus. 

The real appeal of a Saturday Valentine’s isn’t the promise of finding the love of your life, but the reminder that, as Vonnegut said, we are all just dancing animals farting around. Whether you leave the bar with someone’s number or just more funny memories with friends, embrace the chaos and the mess. This Saturday, our feeds may fill up with curated declarations of love – but real connection, like the best nights out, can’t be optimised. It only happens when you stop trying.