Etsy witches have been a hot topic on the internet in the wake of Charlie Kirk’s killing, after it transpired that the staff of Gawker’s Jezebel had asked several Etsy witches to curse the right-wing activist as part of an article published a few days before his death. As a result, Google searches for ‘Etsy witch’ jolted over 600 per cent in the wake of the assassination. But some people have been calling on Etsy witches for help since long before Kirk’s death, attempting to manifest everything from good luck, to financial prosperity, to lasting love. For as little as about 33p (when the price is ordered from ‘low to high’), you too can order a custom spell to improve an area of your life. And all across the internet, consumers of witchcraft are sharing their experiences of commissioning a witch on the internet to improve their lives.

Influencer Becca Bloom went viral earlier this month for revealing that she had hired an Etsy witch to help control the weather on her wedding day, jokingly thanking them in the caption of her newly wed announcement post on TikTok. Initially, the forecast was looking like a thundery mess, but the clouds coincidentally made a kind allowance for the hours of the celebration. Girlies everywhere took this as proof that Etsy witches work, inspired to hire witches for their own means and posting their results: one woman called Iris even used one to help sell a house. 

One TikTok user who is candid about her experience in commissioning witchery is Alexis, whose username is yourcrazylexgirlfriend. “I’d like to think I go [to Etsy witches] more than the regular person who has no interest in the metaphysical, but not so often that it’s concerning,” she tells me. In her most-liked video, she transparently reels off various resources for viewers and refers to her Etsy witch as casually as if she was referring to her hairdresser or manicurist. “I’ve always been very open minded when it comes to the supernatural,” she explains on her first experiences dabbling with outsourced magic. “There was a low point in my senior year of college that really pushed me to use any means possible to improve my situation.”

“So I have someone I affectionately call my Twitter witch and they were my first go,” she explains. “It was a love spell they did in addition to giving me instructions on how to make a honey jar on my own. It didn’t work as fast as I wanted, but I ended up dating that person for four years, so the chances of it having worked aren’t zero.” Nowadays, she tends to commission the odd spell here or there for health and abundance: “just as an extra boost to what I’m already doing on my own.”

Not only did Alexis eventually bag her crush, but she’s also seen success through promotions at work, meeting goals and feeling healthier within herself. Still, she knows she can’t put that 100 per cent down to magic. “I don’t think they’re exactly miracle workers, she says. “But it’s an example of a person putting faith into the universe that makes it easier to get to certain goals.” She continues: “I think if you’re solely using Etsy witches to improve your life and find yourself spending [a lot of money on them], I feel like that’s a sign to look inwards for some healing. I think it’s also good to be mindful of where you put your energy and intentions, because I think at the end of the day that’s all there is to it.” 

It is part curiosity, part belief, and part a feeling of ‘why not!’

Although commissioning Etsy witches would ideally be used for additional sprinkling of positivity, undoubtedly not everyone is using them in this way. One video titled, ‘My cousin hired an Etsy witch to curse my aunt’, immediately piqued my interest so I reached out to the original poster, Mallory, in part to be nosy but also out of a need to know whether there were any spiritual repercussions. 

“It all started with an art gallery opening,” Mallory begins. “My aunt invited the entire family, cousins, uncles, everyone, except for my mom and it was not an accident.” Popcorn. “It felt like she wanted to stir up drama. My cousin was fed up with that kind of behavior, and in her frustration, she decided to try something different. She went on Etsy, typed in ‘witch curse,’ and ordered a spell. Nothing fancy, nothing specific, just a simple bad luck curse aimed at my aunt.”

“Here is where it gets strange,” she goes on. “The day after the gallery, my aunt suddenly got sick. Fever, body aches, just completely knocked out. And this was less than 24 hours after the event. She was fine again two days later, so maybe it was stress or a coincidence. But the timing was eerie.” She adds that her cousin has so far has experienced absolutely no repercussions or consequences. 

I ask Mallory why she thinks so many people are seeking help from the occult. “I think it is a mix of curiosity and hope,” she speculates. “Some people want love spells, good luck charms, or healing, but others are just fascinated by the idea of magic being a click away. It is part curiosity, part belief, and part a feeling of ‘why not!’” 

In her piece titled ‘Etsy Witches and the Commodification of Witchcraft’ for Polyester Zine, writer Allegra Handelsman details how her seemingly endless spell of bad luck came to an abrupt end after hiring a single spell from a group of Etsy witches called the Black Cat Coven. Despite her subsequent spell of good luck, she wonders whether the commodification of spirituality is merely monetising people’s search for meaning. “This digital marketplace feels like an inevitable byproduct of late-stage capitalism – one that trades in hope, fear, and heartbreak. Although the phenomenon isn’t new, it has been thoroughly normalised and rebranded for the algorithm age,” she writes.

In a world full of scammers wanting to earn a quick buck amidst the cost of living crisis, it’s hard to gauge whether these spells are legit, especially when even online reviews can be fake. “Best case scenario it works, worst case you’re out of a couple bucks and you had some fun doing it,” says Alexis, reinforcing that while it’s not that deep, it’s also not an assured way to getting everything you want. “An Etsy witch isn't going to fix everything, but it’s a fun way to put a little more metaphysical power towards the work you're putting towards what you want,” she continues. “It's all energy anyway. Just go with whatever you’re drawn to.” Wand drop, or something.