If Jennette McCurdy had any misgivings about the title of her memoir, they’ve surely evaporated in the face of her success. I’m Glad My Mom Died was published in August to unprecedented media attention and a chorus of acclaim from readers and critics alike. It swiftly topped the New York Times bestseller charts in its first week and it is, unquestionably, the book of the year.

It’s easy to see why. McCurdy has crafted an absolutely searing deconstruction of her own child stardom and abuse at the hands of her mother, Debra, tempering its darkest moments with her rich, mordant sense of humour. We once knew her as a regular cast member on iCarly and now we’ve become acquainted with the real Jennette McCurdy, who just so happens to be a masterful writer.  

McCurdy places you squarely in the shoes of her younger self as she was forced to pursue Debra’s unfulfilled dream of fame. It’s an illuminating breakdown of generational trauma and the commodification of women and girls, and it often makes for uncomfortable reading. Yet despite some of its bleakest details having been luridly regurgitated across social media, McCurdy’s story bears witnessing in full.

The writer takes every titillating notion about stage mothers and teen idolatry and floods it with a dose of cold, hard reality. There are passages in I’m Glad My Mom Died that feel like they could be ripped wholesale from the days of Judy Garland and MGM child stars. Lena Dunham called it an “important cultural document” and it’s hard not to agree. I’m Glad My Mom Died will likely go down as a seminal exposé of 21st-century Hollywood. 

Have you enjoyed doing press for I’m Glad My Mom Died, given the subject matter?

Jennette McCurdy: I have enjoyed it. It’s been totally different from my experience with the press when I was younger. I think it starts with the fact that I’m talking about something I want to be talking about. I believe in the book, I want to be having the conversations that the book provokes whereas before, press felt, for me, very much like I’m hawking something that I don’t believe in. I felt very phoney doing press years ago. This time, I feel like I’m able to show up as myself talking about things that I actually want to talk about with people who have been really insightful and thoughtful and respectful. I’ve even made a few friends from the people that I’ve spoken with – that was a very unexpected, delightful surprise.

Do you feel like you have a better relationship with your celebrity now?

Jennette McCurdy: Yes, for sure. I think it was really hard to be famous for a thing that I felt so ashamed of. It was really difficult to be doing work that I didn’t feel proud of and then also being constantly externally validated for that felt ultimately really unfulfilling. To feel validated and received for something that actually means something to me, that I’m proud of, feels entirely different, and I would encourage it.

I wanted to ask you about the book and its wider impact. Do you feel like the book has played any part in this shift we’re seeing where we’re reassessing female celebrities from the 00s and their experiences of misogyny? There’s everything with Britney Spears, Janet Jackson and Lindsay Lohan. It feels like we’re learning the truth behind them and this book falls into that.

Jennette McCurdy: If my book has at all contributed to those conversations, I think that’s a really wonderful thing. I think those conversations are long overdue. I think there are things that are being talked about now that I couldn’t even imagine being talked about ten or even five years ago. It’s really wonderful to see and I think will lead to some good long-term change.

I’m always a little concerned and a little sceptical when things are too topical. A couple of years ago when it was too ‘rah, rah, women! Woo hoo!’ I was like, oooh, this isn’t going to go anywhere good, it’s too popularised, the pendulum is going to swing. But I think with time that ‘rah, rah, women!’ movement has settled into a nice place where it feels like there’s sustainable growth happening. Sorry, I sound like a CEO.

You’ve spoken in the past about how you chose the title of the book because it’s deliberately bold but packs a lot of nuance underneath it, it’s not provocative for the sake of it. Do you ever find people potentially get caught up in the title and maybe don’t engage with that deeper meaning?

Jennette McCurdy: I think if somebody didn’t choose to get the book because of the title, that’s fine, they’re probably not the right audience for it. I think the people who pick up the book are people who want to have nuanced conversations, who want to ask good questions and who have a certain curiosity to them. If somebody’s just like, ‘that’s preposterous!’ then OK, she can just bake her cookies or whatever and not get my book, that’s fine. I don’t believe in being provocative just for the sake of being provocative if it’s not really supported by what’s being said, but I do feel that’s what I did. Anybody who may be sceptical but got the book regardless, I think may understand why by the end of the book. 

Playing off that, how have you felt about a lot of the deep personal history in this book being condensed into headlines and clickbait?

Jennette McCurdy: A week before the book came out, I would have had a very different answer. I went to sleep crying two nights that week just thinking that I put my soul into this book and to feel it being reduced to clickbaity headlines was devastating to me, frankly. Then I saw the conversation really changed once the book came out and people had a chance to read it. My publicist very kindly reminded me of that during the week before publication because I was going, ‘oh my god, is this all the takeaway is going to be? Is nobody going to care about what I feel is important about the book?’ And they were like, ‘wait till people read it, wait a couple of days and let me know if you feel the same.’ I’ve been really satisfied with the response. I wish I could go back and tell that version of myself that the loss of sleep and crying over Bagel Bites was unnecessary.

Have you had a private response from any other teen stars of your generation? Has it resonated with anyone who was in the same position as you?

Jennette McCurdy: Honestly, an outpouring. I’ve been hearing a lot from people who were in the public eye when they were younger and it’s wonderful to hear from them as unfortunate as it is that they may have endured similar circumstances. I’m grateful that they’re connecting with it and it’s been a lot of cool people.

“I don’t believe in being provocative just for the sake of being provocative if it’s not really supported by what’s being said. But I do feel that’s what I did” – Jennette McCurdy

What’s been your family’s response to the success of the book?

Jennette McCurdy: I don’t know if anybody expected… this. I have three older brothers and I saw them at a family get-together the week that it came out and debuted at number one. Everybody was very surprised and excited and supportive and they’ve stayed that way. Two of my three brothers have read it, the other has not and I totally understand why.

These are people who understand my viewpoint on my mom as intimately as anybody. I won’t speak for them, but I don’t think it’s a reach to say that we all feel similarly about our mom and have all had our own really complicated experiences and relationship. It was nice before the book came out and while I was writing the book to be able to have those conversations with my brothers and to be able to do some of that processing together. Since the book came out it’s been really lovely to have their support in the results of it.

What did they think of the title?

Jennette McCurdy: They laughed when I told them the title. My oldest brother Marcus told me that my grandma wasn’t happy with the title but that’s to be expected. Of course, grandma’s not gonna like it. 

I believe you’re writing a novel. Have you enjoyed writing fiction?

Jennette McCurdy: Yes! Before the memoir I wrote screenplays, I wrote plays, I wrote pilots, I wrote short films, I wrote a million things that will never see the light of day. All of those were fiction and I always feel it’s important for me to be exploring something that’s deeply personal to me thematically, regardless of whatever the story is. I feel like the subject matter has to be really, deeply bothersome or upsetting or inherent or compelling to me. So that’s been the throughline for everything that I’ve written.

I tried my hand at a couple of novels throughout the years that I got to the halfway point of and then left for the next creative whim. But it’s been really lovely to be able to explore a subject matter that matters so deeply to me without it being related to my life.

Are there any other writing forms you’d like to explore after the memoir and the novel, like screenwriting or essay writing?

Jennette McCurdy: Both. I’m actually writing a collection of essays. I got pretty deep into it and now I’m focusing primarily on the novel, but I expect that I’ll get back into the essays at some point. I wrote some essays for The Wall Street Journal and The Huffington Post so it was somewhat familiar to me, so it’s nice to be returning to that form. I’m also working on some screenwriting. I just finished the first draft of a screenplay a couple of months ago that I need to go back to. I’ve been procrastinating with my screenplay so thank you for asking because now you’ve reminded me that I need to get back into it. 

Jennette McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died is available from Simon & Schuster now.