The NHS is looking for people who are ‘known and loved’ to front a campaign for the COVID-19 vaccine – here’s who we think should be on the line-up
Now there’s three coronavirus vaccines on the way, it feels like the nightmare we’re currently living in might finally be coming to an end. That is, unless nobody takes the vaccine – a fear vocalised by medical professionals yesterday (November 29).
According to The Guardian, health chiefs are worried about the number of people still undecided about receiving a vaccination, as well as about scepticism among NHS staff. In an attempt to alleviate fears and persuade people to take it, the NHS is planning on enlisting “sensible” celebrities to endorse the various vaccines.
“There will be a big national campaign (to drive take-up),” one source told the newspaper. “NHS England is looking for famous faces, people who are known and loved. It could be celebrities who are very sensible and have done sensible stuff during the pandemic.”
No names have been confirmed as of yet, but NHS communications experts have suggested that Marcus Rashford – the footballer who led the campaign against child food poverty – and members of the royal family would be ideal candidates.
But what if the NHS hired Gemma Collins instead? The ad could even feature a twist on her own words,“You are all gonna get this candy” – the candy being the vaccine, obviously. In order to help the NHS create their shortlist, Dazed has compiled a line-up of celebs who should make the cut.
NHS to enlist 'sensible' celebrities to persuade people to take coronavirus vaccine https://t.co/saoiIw9Z8U— The Guardian (@guardian) November 29, 2020
As already mentioned, TOWIE star Gemma Collins would be the perfect celeb to endorse the vaccine. Why? Reason one: she is both sensible and feared – something key to persuading the public – evidenced by the fact that she has never let anyone pee on her because “they wouldn’t have the cheek to do it”. Reason two: she’s earned her divaship, which means she’s also earned respect – a key trait for a vaccine promoter. Reason three: “So girls.” And reason four: how can you not trust a person who fell through the floor on national TV and survived to tell the tale?
In October 2019, Coleen Rooney accused Rebekah Vardy of leaking stories about her to The Sun. The incident – now known as ‘Wagatha Christie’ – saw Rooney run an elaborate sting operation, removing everyone from her Instagram Stories except Vardy and posting fake news to see if it ended up in the tabloids. Fast-forward a year, and Vardy is in the process of being vindicated, as a judge has backed her in the libel case she brought against Rooney in July. ‘But why does this make her a good vaccine promoter?’, I hear you cry. Truthfully, I don’t know, but it feels like the gig Vardy needs after the year she’s had.
Next up is former Big Brother contestant and This Morning presenter Alison Hammond, who once persuaded The Rock to propose to her live on television. If this isn’t evidence enough of her powers, watch the clip below to see how she’ll punish those who refuse to take the vaccine.
In September, Sky News (kind of) hailed Jedward as the “unsung heroes of the coronavirus pandemic”. The declaration came as the X Factor twins spoke out about the importance of following safety measures to prevent the spread of COVID-19. In a series of tweets, Jedward encouraged their followers to wear a mask and “have a heart”, referencing their mum – who died of cancer in 2019 – saying: “Our mom wouldn’t have survived COVID-19 with all that’s going on in the world. People with underlying health conditions; their lives matter!”
The twins also called out “other celebs and so-called social influencers” who weren’t being vocal about following the rules, telling them: “Please get with the times and make your voice heard!” One person particularly targeted by Jedward was The Corrs’ Jim Corr, who the pair accused of “idiotic behaviour” after he attended an anti-mask protest in Dublin. So, there you have it, Jedward are actually a very sensible choice for vaccine endorsement.
BAGA CHIPZ AND THE VIVIENNE
Do you want to be carefree and successful like Drag Race UK’s fave duo Baga Chipz and The Vivienne? Do you want to get glammed up in full drag just to drink tea and watch Netflix? Then you need the coronavirus vaccine! Safe, effective, and LGBTQ+ friendly. As the saying goes, ‘Baga Chipz is stunning, Baga Chipz is class, Baga Chipz is sexy, she takes it up the intramuscular route into the deltoid for optimum immunogenicity of the vaccine’.
THE COCK DESTROYERS
Picture this: The Cock Destroyers rebranded as The COVID Destroyers. Two porn stars in their underwear tellling the public: “We love to just get your (arm) and (destroy) them fucking (viral proteins).” First they can finish the excellent Slag Wars series, then they can get on this NHS campaign.
RT if you like BIG TITTIES!!! @SophieASlutpic.twitter.com/rzpihg3glT— Rebecca More (@more_milf) October 2, 2018