Wholesome SFW porn star Ryan Creamer shares his best Pornhub moments

If you head to Pornhub and search “Two Guys Take Turns Plugging Every Hole”, you may not find what you’re looking for. Instead, you will be blessed with a clip of comedian Ryan Creamer playing everyone’s favourite family-friendly game, Connect 4, with an out-of-shot man.

This isn’t the only video of its kind on Pornhub. Creamer – AKA the site’s most wholesome creator – also offers a number of safe-for-work POV videos. Think: “I Tuck You in After You Have Cum”, “I, Your Step Brother, Decline Your Advances but Am Flattered Nonetheless”, and “I Deliver You a Pizza and Don’t Put My Weiner in It”.

Creamer’s videos see the comedian – who’s traditionally presented in POV – in a variety of not-so-compromising positions, including: offering you a (close-up) shoulder to cry on, calling you a Lyft after a night of snuggling, reading a book, or simply enjoying the company of two Black men.

The clips have become notorious on the site, racking up over 11 million views in total, and earning Creamer almost 37k subscribers. This week, after gifting us two years of content, the Pornhub star has announced that he’s retiring, with a video aptly titled “THE MONEY SHOT” (a POV of Creamer giving you $20).

“Acknowledging how silly it sounds in the context of ceasing uploading parody videos to a porn site, it was a tough decision (to retire),” Creamer tells Dazed. “I always knew that there would be a finite number of things to parody – that if I were to go forever, it would just be for the sake of maintaining a sense of ego. I think you can get a little spoiled after a certain point and start expecting things for the work you’re doing, rather than doing it for fun.”

Creamer says he started the channel two years ago “simply because it made me laugh”. He explains: “There was no grand scheme or pre-planning to the concept. I was on Pornhub one night and saw a ‘Work With Us’ tab, which showed how easy it was to become verified. I was very drawn to the idea of this supportive guy, acknowledging that everyone is watching porn on this site, and just offering a kind gesture.”

While he waits for the “next big thing (to) sneak up on me”, Creamer can be found making jokes on his scripted comedy podcast, American Detour. But now, as he says goodbye to his porn career, Creamer looks back on his five favourite Pornhub moments.

THE AMA I DID ON REDDIT

Ryan Creamer: I started the channel in October 2018; by January 2019, BuzzFeed had covered it, and it was all very exciting and 15 minutes of famey. I was working at CollegeHumor, and my smart boss Andrew Bridgman encouraged me to ride the wave and do an AMA (found here). This is a favourite moment because doing it was very fun, it did quite well, and it also now serves as a time capsule to me that I can always have of that specific few months window where I felt famous.

‘I DISINFECT THE CASTING COUCH’

Ryan Creamer: This video holds a special place in my heart, partly because it seems to be most people’s favourites, and partly because it was an idea that almost didn’t happen. My plan was that I wanted to shoot in CollegeHumor’s offices – use the space to shoot a boss/secretary kind of thing. As I was tossing around ideas for that and how to do it, I thought about this room where we would have writer’s meetings, and how much it resembled that casting couch set-up. So I switched gears and grabbed a thing of Clorox off someone’s desk and shot that. The spontaneity of it was really fun, and something I would continue chasing in future videos.

SHOOTING WITH MIA MALKOVA

Ryan Creamer: After moving to Los Angeles from New York, shooting with actual pornstars was now in the realm of possibility, and Mia Malkova was the first one. Mia was in town for Holly Randall’s podcast, and so I was able to coordinate a shoot with her in this park before she had to record. My roommate Dan filmed us laying in the grass and pointing at clouds for “I Cloudgaze With Mia Malkova”. The DIY nature of this shoot and future collabs with pornstars for like zero dollars was fun to me, and felt like when I had a huge Sony camcorder when I was seven years old and would shoot sketches with my brother and sister in our backyard. Except instead of my brother and sister, now it was Mia Malkova or Asa Akira. Mia was extremely kind and sweet, and it was one of many cool moments that I got to have as a result of videos I’d previously been shooting alone in my bedroom.

THE PORNHUB AWARDS

Ryan Creamer: How could this not be on there? I presented the award for Best Male Pornstar with Angela White (who later met me in a library for “Angela White and I Read Quietly in a Library”), recorded an episode of Asa Akira’s podcast, and lost the award for Best Twitter to Riley Reid – one of the biggest pornstars in the world. I’m holding out for a lifetime achievement award in 60 years.

PEOPLE SAYING NICE THINGS NOW THAT I’M DONE

Ryan Creamer: I really love the process of making comedy, and will continue to do so because it really feeds me. Whether or not I do so in a way that will be as celebrated as this, I’m not sure – but I am betting on myself, and am excited to try. People’s support of this channel, nice comments, and kind words throughout the past two years have grown my confidence to go out there and try to make some more stuff that I think is funny. Having said that, when I try something new in a month and it fails spectacularly, I will tweet, ‘Nevermind, I made a mistake, I’m a porn guy again’.