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Pillow Talk Marti

Pillow Talk: Marti Ragan gives advice on OnlyFans, dating, and artful nudes

To celebrate the release of her sensual music video for ‘Lust’, the New York singer answers readers’ questions on starting an OnlyFans, songs to have sex to, and relationship red flags

“Women have been repressed, like, live your best life: be a slut, be a hoe, do whatever you want – like as long as you’re being safe,” says Marti Ragan. The New York-based singer’s cam girl-inspired music video for track “Lust” is a sensuous ode to sex workers.

“Sex work is very powerful, especially in this day and age when people who are in that career can take back that power and control their money,” she says. “That shit is fire, so I want to do an ode to that. I know a lot of women who do sex work, and I’ve done sex work in the past, so what better way to be like, ‘Look at all these bad bitches, let’s go!’”

Launched on OnlyFans today, profits from the video will raise money for sex workers through non-profits HIPS, which supports people and communities impacted by sex work and drug use, and DECRIMNOW, an organisation that’s fighting to legalise sex work.

“Everybody is, you know, on this OnlyFans, on like the stripping and the pole dancing and all of that...and it’s cool, but it’s like, these people are marginalised and they’re discriminated against,” she tells us.

“If you’re not from that world and you haven’t partaken in that space, you need to remember that these are people’s lives. I, as a black, queer woman am marginalised and have been stolen from and am discriminated against, and I don’t want to do that to another group of people,” she adds. “Especially when a lot of those women and people look like me.”

On the cusp of the launch of “Lust” and her OnlyFans account, we’ve invited Marti to come onboard this debut edition of Pillow Talk, answering readers’ sex and relationships questions – we go deep on starting an OnlyFans, the best songs to have sex to, and red flags in a relationship.

I want to start an OnlyFans but I’m worried my partner won’t like it. What should I do?

Marti Ragan: Does your partner pay the bills? If they pay your bills, maybe you should have a conversation with them. If they do not pay your bills and they do not agree with it, live your best life, life is short and you only got one. If you want to do it, go ahead and do it, and if that person is not gonna be supportive, guess what? The pussy’s gonna pop severely, let’s go! If they say no, and you still want to do it? Well, I mean, baby, you got free will so...

What are the best songs to have sex to?

What are your red flags in a relationship?

Marti Ragan: Mama’s boys. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. People who are mean to service workers. If you are mean and you do not tip properly, that is a red flag, fuck out of here. A red flag. I feel like I have a lot of them. I have a lot of things and I be like, “boop!” People who lie about small things. Like, next thing you know this person not even this person’s name and they got four kids upstate, like I can’t.

I don’t rate my friend’s boyfriend. How do I tell her, or do I tell her?

Marti Ragan: Mind your business. You got to mind your business. Unless he’s abusive, or he’s cheating or like blatantly lying to her. Something that could physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually hurt her. You’re gonna have to mind your business. If she wanna go ahead and drink the dumb bitch juice... or maybe y’all are just not compatible. Maybe that’s just not a friendship that’s gonna happen. But you’re gonna have to mind your business, or lose your friend. And I’m gonna go ahead and be like, ‘See, I told you he wasn’t shit!’ But, for now, I’m just gonna keep it to myself.

This guy led me on and then got a girlfriend. How do I get over a headfuck like that?

Marti Ragan: Get back out there! Like, he played with your head, okay… What did you learn? That’s my favourite thing. To my friends: “What did you learn? What are we not going to do again?” And just you know, keep pushing like, people suck sometimes. But it’s all a lesson, like dating is trial and error.

Everyone’s had to text more in this time. How do I level up my chat?

Marti Ragan: Memes. If your meme game is strong, like... That’s the same thing as being in person and making a joke like, “Have you seen this?” If you are worried about your text game because you’re flirting during quarantine, artful nudes.