Dean and Dan Caten are renowned for knowing how to get the party started. The Canadian designer duo’s signature slot – closing down day one of Milan Fashion Week at 8PM on the Friday night – is every season without fail a raunchy, glam, brilliantly trashy, megawatt event which gets the crowd pumped before they head out for their evening aperitivo. And unsurprisingly, their SS25 show was no different. Ticket lost in the post? Strap in for everything you need to know.

NO THESPIANS HERE!

After shoving their models through a Snog, Marry, Avoid-style glow-up booth for AW24, the Catens set their sights on treading the boards of a historic Milanese theatre this time around. All lit by seductive red light, guests piled into matching scarlet velvet seats and settled in for the ride. But don’t think this was a Shakespeare or Pinter-type affair: look in the direction of the Chippendales or Magic Mike instead and you’ll be bang on the money.

MIA KHALIFA AND ARON PIPER SAT FROW

…with Khalifa in a head-to-toe black look and aviator glasses. The fashion junkie told us she’d win a medal for never winning a medal pre-show, because she’s never won an award before. More of that, and a bunch of other fashion week TikTok content, here.

MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

Flicking through a paper programme left on the seats revealed guests weren’t only getting a runway show but a dance performance, too. As the curtains went up, five neon-lit boxes descended from the ceiling, and out stepped a cast of buff, oiled-up dancers stripped to the waist. As Prince’s sexy, suggestive banger “Cream” kicked in, the troupe gyrated around the stage like they were auditioning for a new Magic Mike sequel.

COL THE DOLL STOLE THE SHOW

But then, when does she not? The supermodel-in-the-making strutted out up the catwalk in a skimpy mini with criss-crossing leather straps that snaked up her legs and across her torso.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU INTO?

If you’ve read this far, it’s probably become clear that this was a bit of a raunchy show – which guests were warned of via the SS25 invite, which consisted of a tactile piece of latex reading ‘This package is full of love’. The collection itself was kinky AF, blending BDSM aesthetics with fetish-y flourishes. The guys treaded the runway in low-rise leather pants matched with hardcore harnesses and armbands, with some slipping into semi-see-through latex jackets ideal for water sports.

Others came out in tiny boxer shorts, sheer tops, and t-shirts plastered with homoerotic slogans, while the icing on the menswear cake came via a standout white leather motorcycle jacket strung with dramatic crystal fringing, with the model wearing it dramatically whipping off a wrestling mask midway through his catwalk strut.

For the girls, tiny bum-skimming shorts were paired with even tinier shiny bikinis, flowing latex skirts, minuscule minis, and shredded, skintight jeans. As ever, the ghost of Y2K was present in the garishly hued trucker hats and Souvenir bombers that Dsquared2 does so well.