Jack Dorsey, Twitter overlord, went to Paris Fashion Week

Is he... cool? (No)

This menswear fashion week, the Paris FROW had a new addition: the nose-ringed, perpetually beanie-clad Twitter overlord Jack Dorsey was spotted at Rick Owens, Dior, and Celine, as well as Karl Lagerfeld’s memorial service and a party for jewellery brand Chrome Hearts.

A quick primer on the man known as @jack. He’s the social platform’s co-founder and CEO, and as Mark Zuckerberg has come to represent mass, election-swaying invasions of privacy, Jack is perhaps best known for being highly ineffective when it comes to banning neo-Nazis, as well as being a problematic wellness guru. Pre-Twitter he very briefly dabbled in fashion design, and denies sending some of his beard hair to Azealia Banks to make an amulet to protect him from ISIS. His habit of ice baths, fasting at weekends, going to silent meditation retreats (a trait that made him the basis for the character Billy Bauer on Black Mirror episode “Smithereens”) and only eating one meal a day led the New York Times to call him the Silicon Valley Gweneth Paltrow. He’s worth over $5bn, and oh yeah, he fucking LOVES Rick Owens.

Dorsey – who has spent the last half decade pivoting from dressing like a ‘do you know who my father is’ bro to cultivating a Ricked-out, billionaire hacker aesthetic – has been an Owens stan for a while. Back in 2012, he tweeted that the designer was one of his top three faves (along with, wait for it, J.Crew!), before noting a week later that he was “So impressed by Rick Owens. Straightforward, dark, cool. Stunningly unique”. In September 2016, Quartz gave him kudos for “pioneering a different version of the laid-back CEO uniform,” trading Steve Jobs’ (and Elizabeth Holmes’) Miyake turtlenecks for Rick leather jackets and trainers. 

So, back to fashion week. It seems Dorsey was in town to meet President Macron to discuss “working towards a healthy, online environment” before jetting to the UAE to do some more hand-shaking. He was pictured smiling lovingly at Rick himself backstage and peeped by this very writer assigning Hedi a modest round of applause at Celine from his seat a few down from the Arnaults. Still – what did he make of Kim Jones’ pink Dior sand? Did he strike up a conversation with Virgil at the Chrome Hearts party? And how did he feel about removing his beanie when meeting Macron? 

From his cashmere hoodies to his morning drink of salt water, Jack Dorsey is a walking affectation. I mean this as a statement of fact, rather than an insult: he is not cool. He just doesn’t have it, that ineffable, magnetic quality that creates a halo around the Chloë Sevignys and Luka Sabbats of this world. The front row of a fashion show seems a kind of weird place for an internet billionaire who works at a standing desk under an infrared light to be sitting – isn’t this all a little trivial for the man who meditates two hours a day? But fashion brands rely on social media, and this is an industry all about aspiration. Maybe even monastic rich tech bros get tempted by the caché that cool clothes can bestow on their piles of internet money? So Elon Musk, if you’re reading this – time to start getting your looks for Art Basel Miami Beach together.