Featuring flaming skulls, guns, and slogans like ‘bitch wife’ and ‘asshole husband’ – @facebookshirts documents the t-shirts you can’t quite believe exist
We’ve all been there: you have a conversation, phone in your pocket or placed next to you, about something completely random you maybe wanted, then, ten minutes later, on your feed appears that exact same thing. Only now you’re certain you don’t want it because you’re too busy being terrified about being watched, about the ugliness of consumerism, about the state of humanity, and, ultimately, the imminent death of the earth. Step in @facebookshirts – the Instagrammer taking these usually pretty unnerving sponsored ads and posting the worst of the worst on their feed.
“I started the account after a couple of months of noticing an influx of sponsored ad shirts every day,” Hollywood-born, self-described ‘legend’ Eric D explains. “My design company was getting ripped off constantly by these shady ‘companies’ stealing our designs and reselling them on Redbubble or random Facebook pages. Then I realised that people were being targeted by their interests online, and the stuff I was seeing was getting crazier and funnier by the day. I started @facebookshirts as a means to document them all in one place.”
What do these tees themselves look like? Imagine an algorithm amalgamating all of your liked Facebook pages (even the most random) into one slightly terrifying design. Think guns, skulls, and quotes which range from, the niche, like: ‘NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A MAN WHO LISTENS TO METALLICA ON A DUCATI’; to the more niche ‘I SPEAK IN J COLE SONG LYRICS AND HARRY POTTER QUOTES’; to the entirely random and not so desirable: ‘COLON BLOOD RUNS THROUGH MY VEINS’ all in aggressive caps lock strewn across a Fruit of the Loom t-Shirt. My personal favourite, however, reads: ‘I SUCKED A STRANGER’S DICK IN THE BASS PRO SHOP BATHROOM’ – click and collect, please!
“The page itself is solely for humour,” the founder explains, “but there is no denying it’s a gross commentary on consumerism and capitalism. I have faith in our followers and they get the joke clearly, but then sometimes I get sent pictures of people actually wearing them – more often than you’d think – which means they bought them! Which is actually mind blowing and kind of scary to me.”
The whole feed is half funny, half terrifying: because anyone who wears a t-shirt proclaiming to be the ‘gun-owning, liberal-destroying, flag-flying American you read about’ is quite scary, but also because the designs are, frankly, not very this season. Okay, I joke. What these tees actually do, more often than not, is prove that we can be sold pretty much anything, and offer us a glimpse at a little-seen world where right-wingers are wearing their wild and sometimes violent views splashed across their chest, proudly, for all to see.
As for the perfect post, Eric D says there isn’t one — although a t-shirt which features “the month, a “bitch wife” or “asshole husband” are always a bonus. Also a gun or skeleton to frame the text really helps, apparently.