I let Spencer Pratt convert me into a crystal lover

When reality TV and Instagram idol Spencer Pratt is not busy filming the 2019 revival of The Hills with his wife, fellow spon con icon Heidi Pratt (formerly known as Montag), you can find him running one of the most lucrative and successful crystal businesses in the whole of LA.

In celebrity spheres, Spencer was an early adopter of the trend, laughed at by social media trolls and fellow LA- dwellers as ‘Crazy Spencer with his crystals’. Back when he first developed a keen interest in them – around a decade ago, he thinks – it was dismissed as some try-hard wellbeing trend that catered to the rich with nothing better to spend their money on. Still, up until about a year ago, Spencer was one of the only celebrities willing to throw his weight behind them.

That’s changed though, as Spencer has pointed out in one of his many scattered, ‘stream of consciousness’ Instagram stories. Recently, a tabloid magazine in the US ran a feature on ‘Celebrities and their Crystals’. “I wasn’t even included!” Spencer ranted. “All these other celebrities jacked my whole lifestyle, but I got ghosted from it!” But he’s not angry, no: instead, he’s just happy that so many others are now getting on his wavelength.

I have to admit, I’ve spent a long time calling BS on the world of crystals, one rooted in something so intangible that I can’t truly believe that they’re as earth-shifting as Spencer so often suggests. But I gave him a call to see if he could convince me otherwise. From his gem-encrusted home in LA, Spencer told me everything I needed to know about his crystal passion – from the ones he grabs to fend off bad vibes from his frenemies on The Hills to the way a sugilite cured Heidi’s plastic surgery pains.

Spencer Pratt: Hey hey hey, it’s Spencer here!

Hi Spencer, it’s Doug. How are you feeling?
Spencer Pratt: I’m feeling incredible. Life couldn’t be better. Everything I think about keeps coming true. How are you?

I’m very good. Thanks for talking to me.
Spencer Pratt: I’m glad, I wish I was at The Savoy or The Dorchester having tea with you.

Same, tbh! So I wanted to start by saying I’m slightly cynical about crystals, so I’m hoping through the course of this conversation you’ll able to convince me.
Spencer Pratt: Anytime I encounter a cynic, I say I’m definitely not the smartest person on earth, but one of the smartest people is Nikola Tesla! He says – I don’t have [the quote] memorised but you can find it on Google (it’s “In a crystal we have clear evidence of the existence of a formative life principle, and though we cannot understand the life of a crystal, it is nonetheless a living being.”). If that guy – who pretty much invented electricity – believes in crystals having energy, I’m gonna go along with his big ass brain.

Start by telling me how much of your mood today is dependent on crystal and –
Spencer Pratt: Well I will tell you how I got into crystals so that can help you understand, as a sceptic.

Go ahead.
Spencer Pratt: My wife Heidi had some surgeries – nobody knows about them, they were a secret! – but the painkillers were not working. She was miserable, so I googled alternative healing methods and started reading about crystals. I went and bought [one that] would help the pain: Sugilite. I brought it home – I swear I bought the most expensive chunk of it, like $15,000, because my logic was that I needed the most powerful one. Heidi held it that night and slept for the first time in over a week with no pain. That morning, I went back to the crystal store. I was completely addicted.

I hear Heidi was once a sceptic too, especially when you first started investing in this as a business model.
Spencer Pratt: I only started selling them because Heidi stopped me from buying pendants from the wizard that makes all of my crystals because she was like ‘You’ve spent too much money’. I told her I wanted different ones for every outfit and every mood.

So I found the wizard at a gem show. From that first day I grabbed 50 of his pieces and sold them in 10 seconds. Now I have five full-time employees and we’re going to make a million dollars in our first year. It’s so funny to me because everybody used to make fun of me for liking crystals. You’re telling me they don’t have any energy? Well, they’re about to make me a millionaire and I always believed!

That’s mad. When it comes to something like how you’re feeling today, how much of that is dependent on the crystal that’s around your neck?
Spencer Pratt: Every day, I know what most of the crystals do to me. I know that if I’m going to see someone on The Hills I’ll have some drama with and I want to have a more loving energy, I’ll put on a rose quartz, because I want that intention. But there are certain crystals I pick up and my gums start tingling!

I’m intrigued.
Spencer Pratt: I mean, it’s not a new thing [made by people in] LA: this is an ancient thing. All the high priestesses had all sorts of lapis gems on their breastplates. King Tut was buried with tektite. Civilisation has always tuned into stones. It would be stupid to believe that this energy and healing wasn’t being felt all across the planet.

I mean, our iPhones have quartz in them! They use crystals in fighter jets! [Spencer explains the specifics; he’s correct.]

Do you see it as some sort of religious or doctrine-like connection?
Spencer Pratt: Um, no, cause I still believe that God, the infinite creator, gave us crystals. I don’t worship crystals – but I love them. Like I love sunsets and stars. It’s just way easier to grab a dope crystal around your neck than it is to grab a star. If I could get a star, I would probably have a star around my neck.

So do you have a go-to everyday crystal?
Spencer Pratt: My whole house is covered in crystals now. I started with just two pendants, but now I’ve got 300 crystal ones. I put my hands over them and close my eyes. I see what I wind up being drawn to; whatever my aura feels like it should wear today.

Are there any that work well together?
Spencer Pratt: When I know someone’s a hater, I like to pair quartz and black tourmaline together, because I’ve read that Native Americans believe that if you try and send a spell, that combination bounces it back to you. If I’ve gotta go film a scene with a hater today, I’m gonna throw on that quartz and black tourmaline together! See how you like that negative energy back atcha!

You seem to know so much about this already. How much time do you dedicate to this?
Spencer Pratt: I’m a bluebell in the game! I’ve had a crystal healing from a black belt. She laid all the different crystals on my body and when I got up I couldn’t even talk I was smiling so hard. My cheeks hurt I was smiling so hard. I was laughing but I felt like ‘woah’ from the experience. I’m not on a level when I can lay crystals on anybody yet.

Is that something you aspire to? Would you want to be a crystal healer one day?
Spencer Pratt: Definitely, if I can lay crystals on somebody and make them feel how I feel, that’s goals AF!

You know what, Spencer? I think I’ve been converted. What should be my first crystal?
Spencer Pratt: I always tell people: the crystal chooses you.