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trump and the orb
Donald and the orb

What is Donald Trump doing with his hands on a glowing orb?

Nothing to see here, just crazy rich men stood in darkness with their hands on a bright white globe

In 2016 Donald Trump wrote on Facebook, “Saudi Arabia and many of the countries that gave vast amounts of money to the Clinton Foundation want women as slaves and to kill gays. Hillary must return all money from such countries!” He also suggested on a separate occasion that the Saudis were behind 9/11.

This weekend, Trump enjoyed a trip to Saudi Arabia where he described it as a “magnificent kingdom” and the Saudis pledged $100 million to the Women Entrepreneurs Fund, proposed by Ivanka Trump, who also gave a speech where she talked about the “very encouraging progress” being made in Saudi Arabia. Women in Saudi Arabia cannot vote, cannot drive and have a male guardian to control and oversee their lives.

On his first foreign tour, Donald Trump also stood in a darkened room with King Salman bin Abdulaziz and Abdel Fatah al-Sisi and joined them in putting his hands on a glowing globe (see above and below). Ah, nothing to see here, just some of the richest men in the world stood in a dark room, gathered round a bright white orb with their hands on it, seemingly in order to channel an invisible force. The photo being widely shared was cropped but when you see it from another, wider angle, it doesn’t get any less strange.

While it may seem straight out of a sci-fi comic book, nothing could be more Trumpian than this, a supervillain that you wouldn’t be surprised to find out secretly worships an orb. Trump doesn’t engage in exercise because he believes human beings to have a finite amount of energy, just like a battery, information you can imagine he may have gleaned from an imaginary floating orb that appears in his office, an all-powerful, malevolent but totally fictional orb that’s the product of his maddened mind, an orb that encourages him to do things like tweet, an orb that controls him, that doesn’t truly have his best interests at heart, a demonic, faceless glowing ball that gives him “advice” and “helps” him make decisions.

This orb actually sounds eerily similar to his strategist Steve Bannon, who was also in Saudi Arabia meeting Muslims and looking extremely nervous about it, possibly on account of the fact that he once wrote the script for an unmade Islamophobic film called Destroying the Great Satan. Here he is looking unsettled, but trying to style it out.

Aside from the cursed image being grim to look at, an Illuminati-esque meeting of dangerous creeps, the weapons deal that Trump signed with the Saudis is worth $110 billion and will see America continue to arm a country with an appalling human rights record and waging a brutal war in Yemen, meaning that there’s a dark irony to standing with an orb to celebrate the opening of the Global Centre For Combating Extremist Ideology, which is apparently what these weird men were doing with this weird thing.